


Ten Skeletons, Two Besties

by MsMK, Optima_chama



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Artsy Reader Hides Kinkiness with Politeness, College, Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Dorm Life - Freeform, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Multi, Music, Nicknamed Readers, Reverse Harem, Sexy Fluff, Sister-Sister Relationship, Teacher Reader Hides Innocence with Suggestiveness, Two Readers, fear of failure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-24 16:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10745415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/pseuds/MsMK, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optima_chama/pseuds/Optima_chama
Summary: College life is something else, isn't it?Some people work their ass off to study, others do it for fun, and the rest just wanna party whenever possible.Booze, drugs, sex... Things can get messy real fast if you don't watch your step, but of course there's some things you just can't avoid. Like the college causing a mix-up with your dorm room situation.When two girls that are the best of friends try their hardest to make sure they're rooming together, they immediately celebrate when they realize they succeeded... And then realize right after that they're assigned to a house on campus belonging to a fraternity.Full of skeletons.As expected, hilarity and hijinks ensue.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> O: Your eyes are not deceiving you. We have joined forces~!  
> MK: That's right, kittens, we're workin' together!

You weren’t always so punk rock.

When you were little, you were just like any other little girl--pastel sundresses, barbies, Disney princesses. And it’s not like something dark and twisted happened to make you this way. Your parents were divorced, but they still were friends (probably because of you) and even when your father remarried and had other kids, you never felt excluded or extra. You got decent grades, had a good group of friends. You just… liked it. You went to a Green Day concert once and that was it. It was a gradual change, and not very noticeable at first. Band t-shirts and old jeans. Streaks of color in your hair. Sometimes you went wild with your makeup and sometimes you didn’t. In fact, you could say your style settled more into grunge than punk rock at times.

But it wasn’t really about the clothes. It was about the music. Music was everything. It spoke to your soul. Since you were little, you’d always been gifted, especially with the piano.

You loved to play, and sometimes you needed to be dragged away from it to do your homework and other things. In fact, at one time, a prestigious title had once been within your grasp, one that would have rocketed you into a successful music career. It was better than anything you could have imagined, but…

You choked.

And just like that, everything was ripped away from you. Scholarships, record deals, the bright, shining future you had been so sure of. Your parents and your oldest half-sibling tried to convince you it’d be alright, that there would be another chance…

You hadn’t touched a piano since. When you used your father’s GI bill for college, you chose a teaching career. A nice, safe option. Your parents were…disappointed. But they didn’t press the issue for fear of driving you away, and you were grateful. But there remained one problem… you had to take a music class for your general education, in order to earn your degree. You managed to put it off for almost two years, but finally you caved and chose music appreciation, hoping it would just be listening and you wouldn’t have to set fingers on an instrument.

To your relief, that’s exactly what it was. Even further to your relief, you met your new best friend in that class. She had the same name as you, and she dressed like she was going to Sunday service, but her humour was dark and her laugh made you smile. She wasn’t as innocent as she seemed, but then again you looked a lot wilder than you were. She balanced you out.

She never asked why you didn’t want to play any instruments, or why you always changed the subject when it came to pianos. You were grateful. In return, you noticed when she fell silent talking about her family, so you stopped mentioning them.

Two peas in a pod.

So when you both found that the school had accidentally discarded your request to share a dorm next year...well, you weren’t going to take it lying down. The poor guy at Residential Services was just a mousy little guy, a student trying to make a little extra cash, and when you came in guns-a-blazin’ with that look of murder on your face and Sis by your side with an evil glare, he stammered out a promise to fix it.

So you left it alone, trusting the kid.

Boy, was that a mistake.

* * *

 

You could say you were quite the… contradiction.

You could also say that you weren’t sure how your rebelling nature came to be, but that would be a lie. You knew exactly how it happened.

Family.

Ugh.

You had grown up privileged. There was no other real way to say it-- You were the kid with a rich grandmother, one that liked to spoil you rotten as much as she could. You adored your grandmother with every fiber of your being, and not just because she had an awesome goodie for you every time she came to visit.

Corporation owner though she was, she had a lot more to her that most business people did not. Spunk, liveliness… Hell, her sense of humor was amazing.

And oh man.

She was a virtuoso.

Music, art, and your grandmother went hand in hand. Like oreos and milk or a burger and fries. Every time she swung by the ‘not-so-modest’ but still cozy house that you lived in with your parents, she always had some new song on her lips, or a new type of art utensil that would make your eyes widen when she explained its’ purpose. You looked forward to holidays and her random visits, knowing there was always something new to learn and see when she dropped in. She noticed and christmas and birthday presents switched from frilly dresses and little make-up kits to stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and little instruments--from harps to electric guitars--made just for your still growing body. You had kicked your squeamishness of stuff you had deemed ‘icky’ to the curb at the ripe little age of nine, and suddenly enjoyed running around and exploring whatever you could. Your grandmother’s curiosity rubbed off on you to an extreme degree, and your parents weren’t exactly happy when they found you climbing trees or playing in the rain and getting all dirty.

And then one day, everything changed. You weren’t the only child with a rich grandmother anymore.

You were the older sister with rich parents too.

Things flip-flopped when the personal little business that your parents owned suddenly blew up overnight into a multi-national corporation. At the time a just barely teenager, you were ripped away from the homey house you had grown to know and love and placed into a gigantic mansion with quiet hallways and cold rooms. Your confused mind spiraled at the new droves of ‘yes-men’ tutors or spoiled little kids of ‘partners’ that disrespected everything you held dear. And that’s without mentioning the two new baby siblings that you had to keep safe from indifferent nannies that didn’t even know how to warm up a milk bottle correctly. But that wasn’t even the worst part.

Your parents… Weren’t the adults you loved anymore.

You rebelled. You rebelled HARD. As you grew, you stopped validating their behavior and cared for the twins yourself. You shunned your position as heir to the business and threw your efforts into various arts-- If you could name it, you did it. You learned how to ride a motorcycle, even bought one. You did everything you could to piss off your parents and tend to your siblings, and once a legal adult, you sued them for negligence and had custody of the twins handed over to your grandmother.

Heh, to say they were enraged would be an understatement. Disownment came swift after that hard-won legal battle, and you were sure they had thought you would suffer without their money.

Fat chance bitches.

Wild parties and crazy nights lasted long in your future as you went to college. You were free from the ever looming silk-lined cage that your parents had prepared for you, and you went _insane._ No, you hadn’t turned into a boozy broad that dropped her panties for any man, but alcohol, bloodied knuckles, and motor-bikes were your best friends for a good year in college before you realized you were killing yourself. You simmered down once more, swapping out leather pants and tight shirts for collared blouses and pleated long skirts, but you never lost your love for the arts.

Coincidentally, it was that love that allowed you to meet your best friend in your second year of college. In a music appreciation class as a matter of fact. And she was as much of a walking contradiction as you; A wild looking style hiding a sweet and innocent nature. How ironic that the two of you shared the same name.

You admitted with some shame that you clung to her and became super protective, the inner child inside with scraped knees starved of affection, but she didn’t seem to mind. As summer came around, the two of you grew inseparable, and you two had immediately requested to share a dorm together the upcoming year. It… had been rather bumpy, trying to get it approved, but with your soul sister’s scary rage and your gaze of vehemence, the two of you had managed to strong arm a timid underclassman into giving you what you wanted.

You had thought it would be smooth sailing from then on out.

…..You ended up being quite wrong.

* * *

 

This place was... much bigger than you’d imagined. When you both had finally received your housing arrangements from Residential Services, you’d gone straight there to move in, but it had taken quite a while to find it because it was new, and a block or two away from campus.

“Delphic of Gamma Sigma Tau…” Your soul sister muttered, staring down at the paper in her hands. She was so careful with the directions, you were certain she’d found the right place. You hadn’t paid much attention on the way, you trusted her.

You tugged on your shirt, wondering if you should have worn something nicer to meet your housemates. Your grunge-punk style didn’t always sit well for first impressions. Sis always looked clean-pressed, and you felt a little underdressed in your Panic! At the Disco t-shirt and tight black skirt. Your doc martins clunked against the pavement as you followed her up the stairs, trying to push the thoughts out of your mind.

Sis rang the bell, and you observed the meticulously manicured yard. Whoever you were going to live with must be a gardening nut, because it was gorgeous.

After what seemed like a decade, the door opened, and you eagerly turned to see your new housemate for the first time…

Only to find yourself staring into the eye-sockets of a very surprised skeleton monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings all kittens and ferrets! Optima here, and I am just so excited to do this collab with one of my favorite authors~!
> 
> Just like MK, I lovingly accept all submissions and asks on my tumblr.
> 
>  
> 
> <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/storylounge-savoye-optima>
> 
>  
> 
> And
> 
>  
> 
> <https://mistresskittensden.tumblr.com>


	2. The Skele-Frat House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had you forgotten to mention Monsters were a thing?
> 
> ....Yeah.
> 
> They're a thing.

…….Well, you could safely say you were most certainly not expecting… this.

Here you had been dragged out by your soul sister in order to find the dorm that you two had been assigned to (eeeeee, new people to meet!) just barely able to get a decent blue blouse and dark slacks on and actually found the brand new dorm house that the college had paid to be built, eager to move in as soon as possible…

And an edgy looking, covered in black and spikes skeleton had answered the door.

After a few moments of tense silence, the shock wore off, and he promptly slammed the door in your faces. You turned to your sis, hoping to the stars above that she wasn’t scared or upset… only to see her with practical stars in her eyes.

“Oh my jeebus, Sis, did you fucking see that?” She said, turning her starstruck gaze on you.

“...So you saw that too? That was a skeleton? I’m not hallucinating?”

“Uh, no, definitely not hallucinating.” Unless you both took the same crazy-ass drugs. She quite literally started skipping in place for a second, but you were distracted by the sound of arguing inside. The sound came closer, and closer… until it finally stopped.

Suddenly the door flew open, and this time it was a shorter skeleton wearing basketball shorts and a blue sweater. He had an exasperated look on his face… Huh. They were surprisingly expressive.

“uh, hey, can we... can we help you?” He asked, collecting himself. You could hear angry shouting retreating further into the house behind him.

“Oh my god, it’s another one, this is so cool…” You barely caught your soul sister’s tiny whisper of excitement. Sometimes she was too much.

“Oh, yes, apologies for the disturbance, but… We’re supposed to be moving in here? We got the paperwork from Residential Services this morning, so…” You handed him your paper, which he readily accepted. He read it over quickly, and the exasperated look returned to his skull. He glanced over the paper at you, and then over to Sister Dearest’s excited mumbling.

“well, this is the right address, but...i think there’s been a mistake, this is a monster fraternity.” He handed you back the paper. “oh, uh, come in. maybe we can call r.s. and get this figured out.”

You were about to protest, but Sis ran past you into the house without hesitation, and you could practically feel the excitement bubbling off her. You and the squat skeleton exchanged bewildered looks before you sighed in defeat.

“Why not?” You said jokingly. “I don’t see any harm in it.”

“eh. yet.”

You have no choice but to step in after her in the hopes of tempering her excitement a little.

Too late.

She was already staring wide-eyed up at a tall skeleton in white armor and a red scarf. He was smiling brightly back down at her, and you could almost hear the high-pitched squeak that was happening in her head. Behind him you could see a large living room, with even _more_ skeletons crowded around a television, playing what appeared to be Mario Kart and yelling at each other.

“SALUTATIONS AND GREETINGS, YOUNG HUMANS! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I SEE YOU HAVE MET MY BROTHER AT THE DOOR. WHAT BRINGS YOU TO OUR HUMBLE ABODE TODAY?” The tall skeleton inquired, inclining his head to look down at her. This makes the noise behind him stop, and suddenly there are seven pairs of curious eye sockets pointed at you.

“WOAH! You’re tall!” Sister squeaked, looking up at him. She wasted no time and stuck her hand straight into where his stomach would be, brushing her fingers against his spine. “You’re really a real skeleton! This is so fucking cool, I love skeletons! How do you talk? How do you eat? How do you… you know?”

The shorter skeleton next to you seemed to lose whatever color he might have had in his face as the taller one did the opposite, turning a bright orange.

“Oh, for the love of…” You stalked over to her, pulling her back by the collar of her shirt and wrestling her into a headlock. “Great Almighty, sister, didn’t it occur to you that that’s probably very rude? My apologies, she failed her manners classes, apparently.”

“Classes like that don’t exist!” She said, struggling to release herself.

“They should, you could use some.”

“Fuck that, life’s better this way,” She snorted.

“AH, OH, NO, I… I DON’T MIND! I AM HAPPY TO SEE MY NEW FRIEND IS SO INTERESTED IN US! EH, I-IS IT ALRIGHT TO CALL YOU MY FRIEND?”

“Uhm, HELL YES!” She popped out of your lock and skipped back over to the skeleton, throwing herself into his outstretched arms, and he scooped her right up into a huge hug, making her squeak. _“So cool!”_

The tall one, Papyrus, is laughing now, and he throws her easily over his shoulder, spinning her around and making her squeal happily. The tension rolls off your shoulders a little when you realize that at least one of them is going to get along with her. It can’t be all bad if she was having fun, right?

“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE!” A small skeleton pops right over the back of the couch, clad in some sort of armor like the tall one, a blue bandana tied around his neck. He has to stand on his tiptoes to shake your soul sister’s hand as she dangles over Papyrus’ shoulder. “I’M THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY! BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BLUE!” The stars in his eyes were mirrored by Sis’ own excitement.

“I’m Y/n! But my Sis over there is Y/n, too.” She jabbed her thumb in your direction. “So call me whatever! Sometimes people call me ‘Edgy Y/n’ or just ‘Edge’.”

“THAT NAME IS TAKEN,” came a growl from your left. You felt the tension return as you regarded the terrifying skeleton who had opened the door before. It took all your strength not to throw yourself between them as he approached her. “I AM EDGE, NOT YOU.”

Ha! She wasn’t scared at all, and you bit back a laugh as she slapped his cheekbones gently. “Well, then I guess you’ll have to come up with a different nickname for me, huh, handsome?”

Oh man, he looked like he might self-destruct. Fortunately, he simply made a disgruntled noise and stalked off into the living room. Papyrus put Sis down gently, and another smaller skeleton (you keep saying small, but him and the one who let you in were both almost six feet tall!) approached her, a golden incisor glinting amongst his sharp teeth. He must be related to Edge, because he looked like something from an emo kid’s wet dream.

Wow. A real rollercoaster of a house. You turned to engage the one who had let you in as he cleared his throat.

“i’m sans. and you’re both y/n? we’ll probably need nicknames so it doesn’t get confusing.” As these weird little white eye-lights rolled over to look at you, you got the feeling that maybe he had said that before.

“Hmmm… How about Virtue and Sin?” You offered, thinking how funny it would be because of how contradictory you both were. He chuckled, which was kind of a relief. You supposed weird nicknames were nothing new to him.

“a’ight, virtue. whatever you say.”

“U-Um actually, it’s…” You began, but then sighed softly as he walked away as he dialed a number on the house phone. It would be too personal to explain why it should be the other way around.

They’ll… figure it out eventually.

Right?

* * *

 

When your huge new friend put you down (friends with a skeleton? Coolest thing ever!) you straightened your skirt, and when you looked up, you were faced with a new pair of sockets with little red lights in them. This skeleton was very much your style, with a sweet black jacket, a crooked sharp-toothed grin, and a spiked collar around his neck.

“hey, there, dollface, the name’s red. really like your outfit, makes me wanna rock your world.” He said, golden tooth reflecting the light. You smiled at him, reaching out to brush your hand over his collar.

“I like your outfit too, sweetie. Is there ever a leash involved, or is this collar just for show~?” His grin faltered and he turned a bright red. Oh, jeez, so cute. So he can dish it, but not take it? Dually noted, with gusto.

“yeesh, kitten’s got claws.” He said, recovering enough for his grin to return, though not enough to stop looking like a tomato.

“Hmm, Kitten… I like that. Maybe I need a collar, too?” You were barely able to hold back a wide smirk as the blush deepened into a crimson. You caught Sis’ little, annoyed twitch in your peripheral, and it occurred to you that she was probably making mental notes on who to trust and who to watch in this house and MyChemicalRomance here had probably been placed first on the ‘Watch’ list with his flirting.

Heh. You loved that Sis was so protective.

She immediately became hounded by the two sweetest beings you had ever met (Papyrus and Blue) and seemed to remember herself as she flashed her polite, winning smile at the both of them while greeting them sweetly.

“SO, YOUR NAME'S Y/N ALSO, BUT WE SHALL CALL YOU VIRTUE?”

“O-Oh, yes, and my sister is Sin.” You shot her a confused look (‘cause if anything it should be the other way around) but she just returned a look that said ‘Go with it.’

Well, okaaay…

“YOU TWO ARE SISTERS? YOU DO LOOK A LOT ALIKE!” Blueberry commented, seeming to vibrate with excitement.

“Nah, we’re not related at all!” You chirped, before bounding over to Sis (apparently now dubbed Virtue), and wrapped your arms around her shoulders as you hugged her from behind. “We’re actually Best Friends!”

“We’re sisters of the Soul, not body.” Virtue agreed as she reached up to grasp your arm and smiled to you fondly, which only caused you to hug her tighter to yourself.

“...soul sisters, huh?” A new and also tall skeleton who looked a lot like Papyrus spoke up as he took a step into your collective line of sight, clad in an orange hoodie, khaki shorts and standing in a slouch. Virtue’s head tilted a bit to the side as she regarded the bags under his narrow sockets (how?!) and lazy drawl before nodding, and his gaze flickered down to your chests.

...His intense stare made you a little uncomfortable.

Thankfully Sis seemed to agree and deliberately cleared her throat, and when his sockets looked back up to catch her raised brow and slightly narrowed eyes, a light orange flush spread across his cheek… bones. Cheek-bones.

“‘Ey now Stretch, no need to be rude to the angels.” Yet another skeleton strolled up, looking a bit like Sans in the face but fairly taller than him and held a bad boy vibe. He had lines leading from his sockets, golden eye lights, really dark jeans that showed off the tops of his hipbones and-- _holy fucking shit he wasn’t wearing a shirt!_

You almost lunged towards him with the intention of running your hands over the sternum and ribs in plain sight, but your buzz-kill of a bestie had promptly caught you around the waist with a tight grip. “No. Bad kitty.”

“Oh, come on!!”

The flirtatious smirk this dude was sporting only widened at the exchange as he flashed a wink. “Heh. Only behind closed doors, Little Miss Devil.” You blinked in confusion at his words (what was that supposed to mean?) before one more skeleton that was _waaay_ taller than the others began forcefully pushing a white t-shirt over his skull.

“Really brother, have some decency!” You gave a pout as the bad boy chuckled and pulled the shirt over his rib-cage, and Sis released you with a soft sigh of relief as soon as the interesting sight was gone while grabbing your hand instead, effectively anchoring you to her side so you didn’t go pull his shirt right back off.

Damn it, foiled again.

“Apologies madams, we weren’t exactly expecting company.” The tallest skeleton huffed as he shot the smirking one a disapproving look before giving the two of you a gentlemanly smile. This one was wearing a collared shirt and casual looking slacks, with narrow sockets and lines leading from them too. He also looked a lot like Papyrus. “My name is Green, pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“I’m his brother, G.” His brother said next, looking over the two of you attentively. “What brings a gorgeous angel and a sexy devil to the skeleton house?”

Ooh, another flirt. You were liking this place already.

“O-Oh, um… Right, pardon my rudeness.” You applauded Virtue’s self-control. Seriously. She was more of a freak than you’d ever be and you were sure she was thinking sinful thoughts about the more edgy looking skeletons behind the polite smile she was flashing. “We’ve… been assigned to live here apparently? We already showed Mr. Sans the form from Residential Services--”

A loud gaggle of voices coming from all skeletons in the room effectively cut her off, and you saw her brow twitch slightly in annoyance. You weren’t sure whether to edge closer to her because of the variety of noisy responses that were filling the air, or away from her just in case she snapped.

Sis hated being interrupted.

“oi, quiet down will ya?” Sans spoke up, easily cutting off all talk as he sauntered up beside Sis with a grin that didn’t really seem genuine. It seemed nervous and a bit worried actually. You got the impression that he was sort of in charge around here. “i just got off the phone with r.s. ‘n… well i really dunno what to tell ya. they realized it was a mix-up, apologized and all that, but fixin’ it wouldn’t be easy. they said it would just be easier to for us ta deal with it ‘til the year is over. there’s room in here for you two, but uh… we weren’t expectin’ other roommates, much less…”

“Human females, right?” Virtue finished, smiling sympathetically as Sans gave an apologetic wince. “Listen, if us being here would be too much of a bother, we don’t mind needing to look somewhere else for a place to stay…”

“I mind!” You interjected with a deep frown. “If we can’t stay here that means we can’t room together at all! We’ve been banking on this all summer, Sis, we can’t give it up when we’re so fucking close!”

“I definitely share your derision for the idea, Sin, but this was their home first; we don’t have the right to just barge in and try to share it also.” She turned to you as she began to argue back, the two of you completely forgetting that there were literally several skeletons watching your conversation intently. “We could always just rent an apartment together since your tuition isn’t a problem…”

“But yours is. And we’ve already looked and there aren’t any good ones left close to campus; not to mention we have totally different classes at different times, and only one motorcycle. Those don’t add up in our favor, you know this.” You stood akimbo, ready to argue your stubborn friend down. “Besides, we already talked about this-- You work yourself half to death as it is with all the stuff you keep on your plate! We’d both need to work in order to pay for an apartment and while I can do that, you’d end up working yourself to exhaustion.”

“I would not. I’ve done it before.”

“You shouldn’t _have_ to, damn it!”

“We’d have to get the money somehow.” She murmured back calmly, trying to soothe your irritation. “And I don’t feel right asking grandmother for money, she has the twins to think about.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

“uh hey, can i just say somethin’ real fast?” The two you looked over at Sans as he waved a hand to gain both of your attention, which caused you to sport matching blushes as you realized you had been arguing in front of complete strangers. “listen, if you really want to stay ‘ere… well, s’not a problem for us if it isn’t for you two.”

He sounded almost…hopeful.

“SPEAK FOR YOURSELF SANS!” Edge growled out from his leaning position against the wall. Well, fuck you too, dude.

“YES, WHY WOULD WE WANT THESE WORTHLESS BEINGS LIVING WITH US?!” Another new voice spoke in a bratty tone, but you couldn’t see who said that just yet.

“okay, the _majority_ of us don’t mind.” Sans spoke nonchalantly, seeming to ignore the dissenters otherwise.

“I certainly don’t either, but all of your feelings and opinions matter here too…” Virtue mumbled under her breath.

“I would just like to say, for the record, that I _definitely_ don’t mind.” You piped up with a large grin, “In fact, I mind so little, it should probably be illegal~.” You flashed a flirty wink towards Red, who flushed a deep red just as he had gotten rid of the earlier one.

“...and why doesn’t it matter to you guys?” The skeleton apparently called Stretch commented in an offhand manner, a cigarette now hanging from his mandible.

“Is there a reason why it should?” Virtue asked in slight confusion.

“we’re monsters, hon.”

“So?” You both commented in unison, wearing varying levels of offense on your faces in response to theirs of surprise. Though it made sense-- Racism against monsters was the norm, even five years after their appearance from under Mount Ebott. Small-minded asswipes who couldn’t see the joy of it all. “We really don’t care about that bullshit.”

“Most certainly not.”

“Why not, if you don’t mind our asking?” Green interrupted, intrigued.

“We’re all living beings with emotions and needs, aren’t we?” With a huff and a shrug, you cocked your hip to the side in a sassy manner. “We’re all trying to make the most of our lives, so why should I give a fuck?”

“A soul is a soul,” Sis murmured in agreement, making eye contact with all skeletons in front of the two of you, “No matter the person. If you do not mind, then neither do we.”

Pure silence fell as every monster looked at each other in shock (why was that so hard to process?) before a deep voice growled into your ear from behind.

“in that case, this should be fun.” You bristled a little before whirling around to find another pretty tall skeleton. He looked like Stretch had had a love child with Red, and he was smirking down at you--an orange sweater with a leather jacket with spiky floof, red skinny jeans, and an orange spiked collar that had a leash dangling from it. “name’s pup, pet. and by the way, my collar comes with a leash that you can pull anytime~.”

Uhm, swoon?

“NOW WAIT JUST A DAMNED MINUTE!” The snotty voice from earlier blasted through the air and a much smaller skeleton (a bit taller than Blue, who was the shortest of the skeletons here) with a violet bandana around his neck came pushing through the crowd around the two of you and stomped up to a blank-faced Virtue staring at Pup (but you knew that look, it was her ‘mildly considering on committing a felony’ look), actually jabbing a sharp finger into her stomach. Your eyes widened in shock as he glared up at her with baleful violet eye lights, one sporting three cracks. “WHO SAYS YOU CAN JUST COME INTO OUR DORM AND TAKE UP SPACE, YOU DISGUSTING SACK OF FLESH?!”

Dude had balls, you’d give him that. Non-literal ones you were sure.

“calm yo’ shit blackberry, the kitty-kats won’t be a bother.” Red grinned toothily, looking the two of you up and down with a leer. That look melted away into something akin to nervousness as Edge grabbed him by the top of his skull.

“BE SILENT, FOOL.”

“e-eh…right, s-sorry boss…”

“Apparently everyone here who said they didn’t mind?” Sis politely spoke to try and maintain civility, her brow raising when he growled and started to yell about something have to do with ‘insubordination from a weak human’. In a very rare urge to want to perform damage control (as well as very common urge to check out more skeletons, because _come on these are fucking skeletons_ ), you ran forward and tugged on his bandana with an excited squeal.

“Oh my gosh! You’re like a smaller version of the tall edgy guy! And you’re closer to my height… Much more my style.” You practically purred the last part, and figured your mission was accomplished when he gaped at you with a violet-blue blush spreading over his face. While he was still processing this, you sped over to Virtue and pulled her close with a large grin. “C’mon, Sis, let’s check out our rooms since we’ll be staying!”

“O-Okay, uh… Where would our rooms be?” Sis turned to Sans, seeing as the two of you realized he was probably the big decision maker in the house, and he gave a slightly overwhelmed blink before shuffling towards the two of you.

“here, i’ll show ya. this-a-way, towards the basement.”

“Ooh.” You waggled your brows at Virtue, causing her to give a soft giggle in response as you followed Sans away from the crowding group of skeletons.

“AFTERWARDS, WE CAN GET TO KNOW OUR NEW ROOMMATES BETTER!” Papyrus called after you, making you look back and nod vigorously.

“Hell yeah! And I'll beat all your ass-essments on Rainbow Road! Isn’t this awesome, Sis?!”

“Ha, indeed.” She replied with a small smile as you bounced on the balls of your feet. “This will certainly be interesting.”


	3. Settling in...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in shenanigans.  
> Sin rocks out and beats the boys at Mario Kart.  
> Virtue continues her long-standing affair with food whilst having an important "chat" with Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter for all the kittens and ferrets who'who've been patiently waiting!  
> Enjoy!

* * *

**Sin**

* * *

 You hated math, but for some reason it worked out when you were using it like this. You scribbled a little bit on the paper, and then held it out to examine it. YES! You had finally figured out the perfect configuration where you could fit all of your posters on the walls! You placed the plan on the desk, ready to get back to work on moving in.

It hadn’t been hard, getting all this stuff in here, mostly because there were a good number of sexy skeleton friends who were eager to help. After all the boxes had been loaded into the two basement rooms (which you had quickly found were connected by a giant walk-in closet, coolest set-up ever!), Sis had loaded her motorcycle into the moving van so she could return it and come back on her own, allowing you extra time to set up your space. If this poster plan was any indication, you definitely needed it.

You were  _ itching  _ to get back up there with those skeletons and play some Mario Kart, but you’d promised you’d stay out of trouble until she got back, so setting up the room it had to be. It had come with a large wardrobe, a desk, and a queen-sized bed, so those things were taken care of (thank goodness, as you really didn’t want to have to make an IKEA trip). That meant all you had to do was find space for everything. Hmm...maybe you should have labelled your boxes?

You open the nearest box, delighted to find it held your stereo system, CD stand, and CDs. Yes, you know most people have iPods nowadays, but you were proud of your collection. You wasted no time in setting it up, and before long you were blasting Green Day while you opened the rest of the boxes.

“ _ ~One light, one mind, flashing in the dark, blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts! For crying out loooouud, she screamed unto me, _ ” You sang along, shaking your hips to the beat as you pulled your clothes from the box to the wardrobe. “ _ A FREE FOR ALL! FUCK ‘EM ALL! You’reonyourownside! _ ”

You paused unpacking to dance wildly as the guitar flared, flailing around the room with reckless abandon. MAN! It feels so good to be here, unpacking your room in the house you  _ share with Sis! _ You’ve both come so far since you met eight months ago, you knew  _ everything _ about each other at this point, and to finally,  _ finally _ be here…

As the song faded, you stopped to catch you breath. Man, it was fucking hot in here. You fluffed your hair a little, humming along to the next song that came on (“Misery”, from their album “Warning”. Another fave.) and then your hands moved to the bottom of your shirt, tugging it effortlessly over your head. You sighed as cooler air hit your sweaty torso, and began to dig around in your boxes for a tank top.

* * *

“you ok, boss?” Red asked, leaning away from his fuming brother as he threatened to crack the kitchen tile.The scowl on his face was dangerously large, and getting larger by the second since you and the other one got here.

“NYARGH! NO! IT’S BAD ENOUGH WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM, BUT THIS INFERNAL RACKET SHALL NOT STAND!!”

He apparently meant the rock music floating up the stairs, because it was the only noise Red could hear other than the sound of video games in the living room. He actually kind of liked it, and he figured Edge probably would, too, if it weren’t you who had been playing it. He silently appreciated your taste in music, but if his brother’s fury would not be tempered by mere condolences. He’d better go put a stop to it before Edge did it himself. That’d be pretty messy, and he didn't feel like hiding any dead bodies.

He made his way down the stairs, thinking nothing of it as he opened the door to tell you to pipe down just as a new song started. He was not prepared for what came next, and if you’d asked him later, he wouldn’t even be able to talk about it.

“ _ Waitin’ in a roo-oom, all dressed up and bound and gagged up toooo a chair, it’s sooo unfair. _ ”

He stopped in his tracks, words lost in his stupor as he stared directly at you, shaking your hips wearing nothing but your skirt and a sports bra. You had your eyes closed, so he supposed you hadn’t seen him. He could just….back out...he tried to do something, or say something, but he couldn’t move. Without your tshirt from earlier, he could easily see the curves of your sweet ass in your black wrap skirt, and he was instantly mesmerized. And the lyrics??

“ _ I won’t dare move, for the pain she puts me through, it’s whaaat I need, to maaake it bleed. _ ”

Of course you’d seen him. You weren’t blind. But why stop enjoying the music just because somebody’s there? It’s not like you were naked, a sports bra is no biggie. Okay, so maybe you’re a  _ little _ bit of an exhibitionist as well. Besides...you wanted to see him blush all adorable again. You started singing along, chancing a glance at him. He seemed startled when you met eyes, and even more so when you didn’t stop.

“ _ I’m in distreee-esss, oh mistress I confess! _ ” You sang, beckoning to him. He was by your side in a flash, almost seeming surprised that he’d moved himself. You curled your fingers around his collar, winking. “ _ So doooo it one more time, these handcuffs are too tight aaand you knoooow I will obey, so please don’t make me beg~ _ ”

You pushed him away, revelling in the crimson stain upon his cheekbones. “ _ For blood, sex, and booze, you giiiive meeee~ _ ”

Your metaphorical guns are smoking. He’s been shot. He’s staring practically through you, and you even waved in front of his now-empty sockets for good measure. You laughed a little, covering your giggle with one hand. If he could talk right now, he’d probably say some pretty choice words, but you were glad he couldn’t.

_ Click! _

You took a picture of his face. Definitely saving this one.

“I thought I told you not to get into any trouble while I was gone?” Your soul sister’s voice cut through the music, and you only felt a little bad about what she was walking in on. Her blank stare was plain as day as she bored holes into Red’s vacant skull. You chuckled, drawing a finger across his mandible.

“I didn’t! Trouble got into me~”

Bam. He fell facedown onto the floor, and he’s muttering something unintelligible while his phalanges twinge wildly.

Virtue gave you a pointed look.

“Oh, come on, he’s harmless. Look at him! And this is just a sports bra. You think he’s capable of anything crude?” You nudged him with your foot to prove your point.

“Yes, I do.” She said with a sigh. “Put a shirt on, would you?”

You stuck your tongue out at her and retrieved a tank top from the box by the wardrobe, pulling it over your head easily, turning off the music as you went. When you turned around, Red had disappeared. Virtue shrugged, not having seen him leave either, apparently.

Your eyes fell to the guitar case in her hands, and for a split second you frowned. She raised an eyebrow, her silent disapproval obvious to you.

“Oops, guess I forgot it,” You said with a sigh.

“More like left it there. You can’t do that, it was a gift from your parents.”

“Okay,  _ mom _ .” You scoffed, gingerly taking the case from her. You didn’t take long to set it up on its stand in the corner, and even though you weren’t going to play it, you had to admit it pulled the room together. You reached out hesitantly, fingers barely touching the strings….then pulled back. Sure, it wasn’t piano, but the dulcet tones of any string instrument really messed with you.

“Not going to play?” Her voice was quiet, supportive. You stared at the mahogany masterpiece in front of you, knowing it was your parents’ subtle nod that you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. You wondered, not for the first time, if it would be worth it to try at least once.

“...Not today.” You said finally. Still too painful. You’d never touch a piano again, and it felt wrong to play any other strings...Sis’ strong arms slid around you, squeezing you gently and filling you with a sense of warmth.

“Take your time. Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

You snorted. “Rome wasn’t a lifetime commitment to ignoring the sound of my soul crying, either.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I thought it was.”

She released you, making a disgruntled noise. You turned to give her a wry smile, holding up your pinky. “Tell you what, the day you call your parents, I’ll play the piano. Deal?”

She barked out a bitter laugh, taking your pinky with hers. “Deal, you idiot.”

Your eyes travelled to the door to the shared closet. “You know, I took a better look at it when you were gone, and that closet is so big we could fit crazy amounts of stuff in there, even a couch and a mini-fridge. Maybe we should turn it into a chill room for when we need each other?”

“I’m down. Like I was ever going to use it for clothes anyway.”

* * *

Edge was somewhat impressed when the music turned off downstairs, though he had to admit it wasn’t really the music that he didn’t like, it was the company. Seems his useless brother was good for something after all. He was ready to praise him, actually, in the roundabout way that he usually did (by saying he’s not a complete waste of space), so when Red reappeared next to him, he wore a smirk of veiled pride.

“WELL, I MUST SAY I’M SURPRISED THAT YOU SUCCEEDED. I GUESS YOU AREN’T--What the hell?” He muttered the last part as he finally caught his brother’s face. Redder than the ketchup Classic Sans so readily chugs, he had a hand over his mouth, trying to stem the flow of blood-like magic from his nasal cavity. His eyes were unfocused and wide, as if he’d seen a ghost. Underneath his hand, he had a doofy grin etched across his skull. “Sans, wipe that STUPID GRIN off of your face!”

“sorry, boss, no can do.” He said with a sigh, his blush deepening. “i...i think i’m in love.”

Edge scoffed, making a movement akin to rolling his eyes. His brother always thought he was in love. That girl at the supermarket with the mohawk and septum piercing? Love. The waitress at the diner down the street who always kept extra mustard packets on hand? Love. The pizza delivery girl? “Definitely” love. 

Sickening, really.

However, despite his brother’s disgusting and confusing sexual attraction to humans, Edge had to admit it was nice to see his brother get happy and excited about something, anything. When they lived in the underground, he had been melancholy more than not, and often spent his days lying despondent in bed or passively accepting whatever torture was inflicted upon him. To see him show enthusiasm and to smile genuinely...well, it had been a long time, and it made him feel a little soft. He really did love his brother, despite what he claims vocally.

Edge made a mental note not to completely terrify these new parasites. After all…

He wanted to see that smile more.

* * *

**Virtue**

* * *

 

“eeyyyy, crystal, long time no see, eh?”

Red leaned in the doorway, leering at the poor pizza delivery girl who just wanted to collect her tip so she could clock out. You watched out of the corner of your eye with a glimmer of hilarity in your eye. The others had explained when they first ordered the pizza that Red insisted on flirting with her (with the grand delusion that it would turn out like a porno, you assumed) but you weren’t amused by that. No, you were amused because you knew her. She was in some of your art classes at the university, and let’s just say that Red wasn’t even remotely her type.

Crystal didn’t even blink as the pizzas floated out of her hands, and she blew a bubble with her gum, bored expression evident on her face as she held her hand out expectantly. You kinda wanted to watch this unfold, but apparently Sin had a different idea as she planted her hands firmly on Red’s shoulders, pushing him down and leaning over to address your mutual friend.

“Cryyyyyys! What up, girl?”

Crystal’s surprised face melted into an eager one almost immediately. “Y/n! Wow, what a weird coincidence. What are you doing here?”

“she lives here. s’platonic, though, y’know?” Red was ignored, and he frowned, sending a tickle straight to your funny bone.

“Me and other y/n accidentally got assigned here, but it’s cool, as long as we get to live together.”

“Are...you sure?” Crystal asked hesitantly, eyes flicking to Red and back to your sis.

“Yep, totally cool! Hey, how’s Karen?”

Crystal smiled brightly. “Oh, she’s great! Still got two more months, but pretty soon we'll have a bouncing baby boy.”

Red visibly froze. “uh...you’re not...i mean, you never mentioned you were gay...or havin’ a kid.”

Crystal rolled her eyes and glanced down at him. “Well, you never asked, quite frankly.”

He seemed to deflate, and slid out from under your sis, who pulled out her wallet as she chatted excitedly with Crystal as she handed over a generous tip. He walked off into the living room, mumbling.

“Heyo, give me a ring if you ever need a babysitter.” You called out with a lazy wave, catching her giddy grin and cheerful nod as she waved back.

“Whatever you say! Catch ya later.”

“Have a good day.”

“hey, you didn’t have to pay,” Sans said, popping up behind Sin as she closed the door.

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind!” She said, popping a too-friendly kiss onto his cheekbone and running off to join the Mario Kart jamboree in the next room. The look on his face said that he probably minded.

“It’s best to just go along with it Mr. Sans,” You piped up from your spot at the dinner table, your eyes not even lifting from the screen of the laptop placed in front of you as he watched her go with a confused expression, “She’s a naturally generous person, so she’d do it regardless of the situation or what you say. Naturally affectionate too, so I apologize on her behalf if her casual touches make you uneasy.”

“well, uh… i’ve experienced worse from… relatives, i guess?” Your brow rose just a tiny bit as you stared at the class schedules you had been printing out for yourself and Sin. You definitely filed that little tidbit away for later rumination. “she’d stop if we’d ask her to, right?”

“Of course.” You nodded with certainty as you pulled out one of your USBs and stored the documents on them so you could print them out later. At the moment, the heavenly aroma of fresh pizza was beckoning you towards the living room. You had one constant lover, and its’ name was Food. “She respects boundaries, as unlikely as that may seem at times.”

You closed your laptop before picking it up, and hopped up out of your chair to make a bee-line straight for the living room to try and snag some of the good stuff before it was all gone. If any of these skeletons eat like grown men, that shit wouldn’t last but a few minutes.

Thankfully the angel on earth that was your sister had done you a solid and handed you a three slices of your fav-- Meat lover’s with stuffed crust. 

You were convinced that this woman was God’s gift to this shitty world.

“BOOM! Suck my  _ dick _ , Red!” Your soul sister called out as she bumped Red’s kart right off the track.

“what the--alright, you  _ gotta _ be cheatin’, there’s no way you could do that without fallin’ off yerself!”

“AM I DOING GOOD? I CAN’T TELL BECAUSE OF ALL THESE BANANA PEELS MAKING ME SLIP!” Papyrus was poking at his tiny controller with one finger, spinning in place on the screen.

“yer doin’ great bro.” Sans said, chuckling under his breath as you watched on in amusement, having already demolished a slice with no remorse.

“MISS VIRTUE, MISS VIRTUE!” Blueberry bounced in his seat as he shouted to get your attention. “DO YOU WANT TO PLAY AS WELL?”

“I’m afraid I cannot, Sin has banned me from playing with her unless it’s team mode and we’re on the same team.” You replied, smiling as she stiffened lightly in her seat and Blueberry made a sound akin to confusion.

“And why’s that Angel?” G called from his upside-down recline on the other side of the couch.

“Because she can never beat me.”

“That’s ‘cause you cheat!” Sis growled from her spot as she skidded around a hard turn on the NES Rainbow Road. “In a single fucking race, you’ve hit me with six red shells, two fucking  _ blue shells _ , rammed into me with stars  _ on purpose _ , and that’s not even mentioning the green shell accuracy of God that you seem to have!” She hissed, only cackling a little bit as the unfiltered cursing Red spewed as she gained a crazy eight. “It’s like the gaming gods have blessed you with the most OP luck!”

“It’s never luck, sis.”

“Right, right, not luck, the shit you do is the very definition of cheating.”

“Sister, when you have the skill that such as I have, you don’t  _ need  _ to cheat.” You cooed, sweetly patting her head and flouncing away with a giggle as she took a swipe at you and missed. 

“At least I can still kick your ass at Smash Bros!” She called after you.

“You use the wobbling from Ice Climbers indiscriminately, now  _ that’s  _ cheating.”

“Fuck you~!” She chirped as she flipped you the bird.

“No thanks~!” You snickered in response as you head towards the kitchen in order to get something to drink, the chuckles of all the males present (well, Blueberry, Papyrus, and Green didn’t seem to appreciate the foul language despite probably being used to it) following you out.

...You realized that the two of you would probably have a regular audience to your banter now, so you believed that maybe you should attempt to restrain yourselves.

……..

Nah. It was more fun this way. Besides, restraint wasn’t exactly a friend of Sin’s.

It took you a second to notice that Sans had followed you in, or, more accurately, that he had been in the living room a second ago and was now occupying one of the stools at the island.

“Cups?” You asked when he caught your eye. He jabbed his thumb at a cupboard near the sink and you walked over to grab a glass with a soft thanks. Whistling softly as you headed to the refrigerator for some ice and water, you could feel the weight of his intense stare on your back.

You really didn’t like it when people tried to burn holes into you with their eyes… Or eye sockets in this case. How to break this awkward silence? Ignore it and hope he goes away, or keep up the skittish act and leave the room first?

Hm… The second option had the greatest potential of escaping the staring sooner.

With cup in hand, you moved to grab your plate of pizza and turned on your heel to head out of the kitchen… Only to immediately stop in order to avoid running into the stout skeleton in your path. You may or may not have let out a soft squeak in surprise.

“woah, woah, steady there.” His hands, broad, firm, and surprisingly warm, reached out to grab your forearms as you wobbled to keep your cup and plate balanced in your hands. ”i got ya.”

“Gah.” Saved from your awkward teetering, you made sure both your feet were on the ground before you released a sigh of relief. “Snap, thanks, that could have been a waste of food… And water.”

“s’no problem kiddo.” ‘Kiddo.’ Really? He was the one that brought the idea of nicknames to the table and he wasn’t even going use them…? “don’t want ya  _ fallin’ _ for me or anythin’.”

“Oh, what a shame… And here I thought the best way to fall was to  _ fall  _ in love.” Sans went still and stared at you blankly for a few moments, almost causing you to attempt to see if poking would snap him out of it, before his smile (which seemed permanent by the way) widened to extreme levels. The little eye lights in his sockets even brightened in excitement.

“well, ya know, doin’ something like that’ll _ bring you down _ , know what i’m sayin’?”

Ohohoho, so we had a jokester on our hands! Very well then, have at thee!

“I don’t know, I kinda like being  _ blue _ . It’s a nice color.”

“heh, i prefer stayin’ off the ground. in fact i was readin’ a book about anti-gravity; pretty impossible to put down.”

“Mm, that one was pretty copper and tellurium.” He seemed to mouth the words to himself in confusion, his bone ridges furrowing a bit before his sockets blew up wide in both shock and pure delight causing you to chuckle. “Anyways, I apologize for almost bumping into you but it sounds like Sister may be getting a little too rowdy out there, so Imma just go now-” You began to try and sneak your way around Sans in order to get the hell out of dodge, but his hands (which hadn’t moved from their grip around your arms in the first place) tightened a bit to keep you from moving towards the door.

“oh hey, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about somethin’...” Your inner introvert groaned in despair at not being able to get away. “don’t worry, it’ll be quick. more of a formality, a habit i have i guess.”

You sighed almost imperceptibly, but stopped trying to move away. He released your arms when he was certain you weren’t going to run. “Alright, so what is it?”

He shuffled a bit under your gaze, but his face grew pretty serious. “i have a nice setup here, you know? these guys, my family, my brother especially...i’m very attached, you could say. i’m also pretty protective. i have seen horrible things, things you’d never believe no matter how many times you heard them, and i swear to the stars above if anything happens to these guys as a result of you or your, eh, soul sister’s presence….you’re going to have a very  **B A D T I M E** .”   
His left eye flickered a strange blue color for a second, and his grin had become a grimace.

………

_ Pfffft. _

‘Oh, sorry, was that supposed to be  _ threatening~? _ ’ A little mocking voice in your head began to ridicule, and you squashed it deep down before pointing a wan smile back at the comedian before you.

Gone as quickly as it started, Sans’ usual grin returned to his face. “i’m sure you understand, right? the need to protect your family?” His eye-lights flicked towards the living room, where your soul sister was doing a victory dance as Red cradled his head in his hands. Papyrus was hooting and hollering, despite his character being clearly in last place, and he picked Sin up with ease to twirl her in a congratulatory spin.

“Oh yes, I understand completely.” You murmured, watching the same sight with a small fond smile on your face but your eyes flicked to the doorframe at the strange flicker of orange you spotted for a quick second there. “In fact, since we’re on that particular subject… I extend the same formality to you and anyone who may be  _ listening. _ ” You moved to place your plate and water down calmly, ignoring his little jolt of surprise as you placed your hands against the granite tabletop.

“Family is a rather… Distant concept to me. Sin is the only one in that category that I speak to on a daily basis. So, just so you know. You can insult or hurt me all you want. But if anyone hurts my sister?” Your mouth curled into your most blood-thirsty grin as you whirled around and got right in his face, fearlessly grabbing his t-shirt and pulling his shocked form down to eye level with you as you glared. His grin was fixed, but the fire in his eyes was all-too-familiar to someone like you. “I will be delighted to show those responsible that there are  _ plenty  _ of things  _ worse  _ than  **_D e a t h._ ** ”

“SIIIIIIS~!!” Letting go quickly and spinning around to face your bestie with your usual blaze expression, she came barreling through the kitchen doorway with glittering eyes and an absolutely hyped smile. She had no idea just how precious she was. “C’mon, c’moooon, Red says he wants to play against you now to try and make up for his wounded pride and I wanna watch you crush it into the ground even further~!”

“Dearest me, how cruel of you.” You sighed, turning to pick up your food and drink once again and walking to your soul sister while leaving a frozen skeleton in your wake. “You break a poor monster down with your trolling and you allow him to face me next? Have you no shame?”

“No,” she answered, matter-of-factly, earning a snicker from Sans. “C’mon, haven’t you met me? Shame isn’t even in my vocabulary. Now let’s go destroy this dweeb!”

Holding back an unlady-like snort, you let her swipe your cup from you before gripping your wrist and pulling you along excitedly. “Alright, alright… Wait, I thought you hated me playing with you on normal mode?”

“M’not playin’.”

“Ah.” A quick glance backwards had you realizing that you had not imagined that flash of orange by the door during that little ‘talk’, because Stretch (apparently eavesdropping on the conversation) was now standing by Sans’ side and both were staring directly at you. You turned back around as a bony yet still warm hand took the place of Sin’s and you released a choked sound as you were yanked to the ground to sit beside Red.

“yer supposed to be better than ‘er, huh?” He growled in challenge as you just struggled to make sure your pizza didn’t hit the floor. It looked pristine, and you weren’t going to abide the tragedy of wasted food. “if i can beat you, that’ll make me better than her, sweetheart.”

“If you beat me, you’re in an alternate universe Mr. Red.” You didn’t notice how he seemed to choke a little at your words (as did all skeletons present), too focused on lifting a triangular beauty to your mouth and munching on it with relish. “Can we wait until I finish my food?”

“nah, ya had plenty of time for that.” You huffed with irritation, prepared to just ignore him and finish your food anyways, when Sin piped up from the couch with a grin.

“You can do it sis! Kick his skele- _ ass!! _ ”

“......Well, with my sister rooting for me, I dare not lose.” You snatched up the nearest controller, twirling it in a hand and shooting Red a look of challenge as you selected your character; Daisy, on a motorbike. “Prepare to get rekt, Mr. Red.”

“game. on.”


	4. Pet-Pals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach house? Beach house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O: Sorry for the wait lovelies!  
> MK: We totally didn't mean for this to take so long. We really love this story and have a lot of ideas, but I guess we got lazy about writing the part that comes BEFORE the ideas lol

Sin

You woke up to the sound of many moving feet above you. You checked the clock: 6 am. From what you could tell from these first few days, everyone was a pretty late sleeper, or at least the lazy ones were. You heard the creaking of the closet door and turned to face your soul sister in all her bedhead glory as she entered from your joined closet.

“They’re so noisy today,” she yawned, motioning for you to move over. You obliged, and she climbed under your covers and pulled them over your heads. In your little tent you always felt like you were camping, so sometimes you both did this in the mornings, just for fun.

“Yeah, what’s their deal? Don’t the lazy ones usually sleep in?” You grumbled. Neither of you were any good with early mornings, preferring to stay up late rather than wake up early. When you had stayed with your mom and her fiance over the summer, this had worked out perfectly because the both of you were never bored waiting for the other to wake up.

“Not today, I suppose.”

There was a knock on the door, and you both peered over the covers. “Come in!” You called out.

The door clicked and was pushed open gently, revealing Papyrus and Sans. Sans seemed like he was going to say something, but stopped and looked over at you both in confusion. Instead, Papyrus called into the room.

“OH, GOOD! YOU BOTH ARE HERE, THAT SAVES US A SPIEL! WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ON A TRIP WITH US TO THE BEACH?” Your tall friend was practically shaking with excitement. Sans seemed to shake off his shock.

“uh, yeah, we’ve been planning this beach trip for various reasons, and we’re about to leave, but we thought since you’re part of the household now, we should extend the invitation?”

Virtue tutted under her breath, but you shot up into a sitting position, excitement coursing through you.

“Hell YES!” You stared at Virtue expectantly, and she made a face. You expected she didn’t like the idea of being in an unfamiliar place with these guys you didn’t know very well. “C’mon, Sis, a beach trip? What’s the one thing we never got around to doing this summer?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”

“SPLENDID! I SHALL TELL RED HE SHALL NEED TO BRING HIS MOTORCYCLE AFTER ALL!”

“Oh, that’s okay, Papyrus! I can ride with Virtue on hers!”

Papyrus responded in kind, but Sans gave Virtue a raised-eyebrow sort of look. “you ride?”

“I dabble.” She said modestly. “Anyway, if we’re gettin’ up so friggin’ early, I need a cup of coffee and breakfast…” She rolled out of the bed in an apathetic manner, causing you to snicker softly at her method of changing the subject and hefted herself up before stumbling towards the door and slipping past them with a mumbled pardon. “Could you pack my bag sister?”

“Sure, I can do that! Coffee for me too please?”

“I got ya.”

You hopped out of bed yourself as Papyrus followed Virtue, shouting about perfect coffee brewing methods.

Sans didn’t budge from his spot by the door, choosing instead to lean on the door jamb while you packed. Virtue would have found this weird, but you didn’t really mind. Maybe he was just trying to avoid having to go upstairs and do things.

“You can come in, you don’t have to stand in the doorway,” You said when you emerged from Virtue’s room to find him still there. He seemed embarrassed to be caught, but he did so, slipping in easily.

“sorry, wasn’t trying to creep.”

“Didn’t think you were.” You turned to the wardrobe, humming to yourself as you pulled some beach-worthy clothes out of the drawers and off the hangers. Sans took a seat behind you, observing you quietly. You were definitely less on-edge than your soul sister, almost borderline naive. He wondered how long it would take you to get killed in a world like the one Edge and Red were from. What did the stars have in store for these two girls that just signed themselves onto a lifetime of skeletons?

“you’re pretty trusting, you know.” He said finally, breaking the silence. “i know you guys ain’t afraid of us or anything, but virtue is at least wary of stranger danger. i could kill you, and here you are turning your back and inviting me in.”

“If you were going to kill me, I feel like you would have done it sooner. Hey, is my swimsuit insensitive?” You pulled out your one-piece swimsuit and turned to show him. He was caught off-guard by your sudden change of subject.

“why would it…” he trailed off as his eyes fell to the item in your hands. Surprisingly modest for you, but he supposed the part you were worried about is the “x-ray effect” that showed a skeleton’s ribs, spine, and naked pelvis. He could tell these would line up with your body, and well...it was kind of lewd. He was blushing instantly. “n-no, not insensitive, just...suggestive.”

“Suggestive I can live with,” you said with a laugh, throwing it into the suitcase. “But I’d never want to be offensive.”

That was... probably his cue to leave and try to control his blush.

When you turned around again, he was gone.

* * *

 

After enduring several long minutes of arguing over which cars to take (even though they had already packed everything into two of them?), you finally ended up on Virtue’s motorcycle, following Edge’s batmobile-esque Lamborghini and Papyrus’ cherry-red Mustang. Both cars were worthy of drool, and made you wonder how rich these boys actually were. Red had taken his motorcycle after all, seemingly because he wanted to ride but probably more likely because he was trying to impress you. It was definitely working.

It was maybe two hours or so before you spotted the sparkling blue waters of an ocean lined with pearly white sand in the distance from the highway, and you started to vibrate with excitement as your group of vehicles took the exit to head down to the pretty piece of geography.

“Damn, those cars are _fiiine._ ” Virtue hissed appreciatively as she parked and pulled off her helmet, effectively proving your mental point. “They run beautifully. Wonder how long they’ve had those sexy pieces of metal.”

You snorted in your amusement as you pulled off your own helmet, fanning at your sweaty face. “You gonna bang the cars when everyone’s back is turned?”

“Pssh, nah. Already got my baby.” She smirked, patting the handlebars in a loving manner. “Nothin’ purrs like her.”

The beach house was practically a mansion, with its' own stretch of private beach land. You sighed and leaned back, popping your back and neck and rolling your shoulders. You enjoyed riding with Virtue on her bike, but it always left you sore.

“Need a massage?” She asked, attentive as always.

“That’d be fucking wonderful. Let’s get all of our bags into that beach house first.”

Virtue turned to help remove your bags from Papyrus’ Mustang before the overexcited skeleton might rip them. Before you could move, the roaring of Red’s motorcycle betrayed him as he pulled up next to you, kicking out the kickstand to park it. Good lord, it was even sexier up close. You let out a little whistle, lightly touching the handlebar with a wicked smile on your lips.

“hey, what’s with the face? don’t tell me you wanna ride now.” He chuckled, removing his helmet. Oh, he was laying it on so thick.

“Maybe not right now, but I’d love a ride later~” You said, running a finger across the shiny red finish on the gas tank. His eyelights followed your movements as your fingers got closer to the seat, and you were feeling bold….but when Virtue turned away from the Mustang with the bags, you withdrew your hand. He was sweating slightly, and jerked his head up when you moved your hand away as if to pretend he hadn’t been watching so intently.

“I’ll get the do….or.” You trailed off brokenly as you noticed something out of the corner of your eye.

You could only think one thing now.

_Cat._

* * *

 

Virtue

 

The ride out had been, unsurprisingly, quite pleasant. The wind on your face, your sis at your back, and adventure ahead... Alright, you’ll admit it was a nice idea. And if it meant watching the taillights of two sexy, sexy muscle cars, then so be it.

You had just managed to wrestle yours and Sin’s bags out of the Mustang when you heard it.

A scream.

Your heart fell into your stomach at the sound of your soul sister screaming, and you froze momentarily. This was it? This was where it all went wrong? This was…

“SIS THERE’S A FUCKING CAT OH MY GOD.”

...Heart attack averted.

She’s thrown herself into the foliage near the house and produced a very fluffy, very disgruntled-looking cat. She wastes no time in bringing to her chest, cooing and petting it, not giving you the chance to tell her to put it down.

“we should probably--” one of the guys said. Sans.

“yeah, no, that’s not safe.” Pup agreed, striding past you towards your sister.

You watch as he attempts to approach, but the cat starts hissing and curling further into Sin’s chest. It seems to like her a lot, purring and rubbing against her until Pup is too close.

“s’doomfang. pup and black’s devil cat.” Sans said dryly from your left. “i don’t think i’ve ever seen her purr, though... she’s usually so volatile you’d never getta pick her up, either. s’sin a cat whisperer or somethin’?”

“Something like that. Animals just love her, kinda like Snow White.”

“UNHAND MY GUARD CAT, HUMAN!” Black called out, stalking past you to get to the scene. You bristled a little at his obvious anger, worried for Sin for just a split second...but then Doomfang swiped at Black’s hands, hissing, and it turned into a comedy. “ACK! TRAITOROUS FELINE! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!”

He attempted to pull the cat from her hands, and it started yowling and scrambled up his front, launching off his head and disappearing into the bushes again. Before you could stop her, Sin had taken off, too, calling after the cat and maneuvering around the side of the house with startling agility.

You decided it was probably best not to stare at Black right now, as his eye-sockets had gone dark and his brother had begun to sweat.

“So they have a cat.” You asked, turning to Sans once again. “Why not bring it to the house?”

“yeah, well, that’s one of the reasons we’re here. we all left our pets here because we wanted to be settled when we brought ‘em in.”

“There’s more pets?” You said, shocked. Seeing the delight in your eyes, Sans grinned.

“heh. yeah. wanna meet ‘em?”

* * *

 

A redheaded girl named Sierra greeted you at the door, introducing herself as the petsitter. Before you could even explain what you and your sister were doing here, G had swept past you into the house, flirting heavily with the girl as he went. Well, there’s that.

The house was huge, with rooms for everyone, and four floors. Apparently, they had lived here full time before the fraternity had been built, but since they were all interested in higher education, the move had occurred despite the nice digs here. You noted immediately the huge grand piano in the living room, and when you found your soul sister had not yet come back from her cat hunt, you quickly set about covering it up with the sheet hanging off of it. Still, could see what it was, but if she didn’t see it itself, she’d be okay.

It didn’t take long to find out that Sans wasn’t kidding when he said they all had pets. There was a pet for each set of brothers, each more adorable than the last.

“HIS NAME IS GEORGE!” Papyrus said proudly, holding the creature out to you. “HE’S VERY LAZY, LIKE MY BROTHER! BUT HE LIKES TO PLAY FETCH ALL THE SAME!”

“He must be a very smart...tortoise, then.” You said, staring into the face of the giant tortoise in the excitable skeleton’s hands. Sans was grinning up at his brother as if he was watching the most beautiful sunset in existence. He must really love to see him happy and you could respect that. “Hello, George, it’s nice to meet you.”

Suddenly, the other excitable skeleton of the house was there, tugging on your arm.

“MISS VIRTUE! MISS VIRTUE! YOU HAVE TO COME MEET ACE!”

“hold up, bro, you gotta be careful with ace. some people might not like birds,” Stretch drawled, appearing at your side suddenly.

“Bird? Ooh, birds are lovely, lemme see!” You couldn’t help but trill in excitement, but then caught yourself as you realized you were being stared at by many of your new roommates.

Whoops. Must have showed too much emotion.

Blueberry seemed to be ecstatic at your enthusiasm though, because he grinned brightly with blue stars twinkling in his sockets (fucking adorable really) and then rushed off towards another room. This left you having to control your blush and trying to act natural while being stared down by Sans and Stretch.

“animal lover, huh?” Stretch hummed speculatively, taking a drag from a cigarette that had appeared out of thin air.

“....Yeah.” You murmured, rubbing at your arm awkwardly.

Thank any deities that may exist for the polite gentleman that was Green, because he quickly spoke up next.

“Animals are such lovely things, aren’t they? I’ve got a rabbit myself. She’s the sweetest thing. Once Blue has put his bird away, would you like to meet her?”

“A BUNNY?!”

You jumped at the familiar excited voice behind you, surprised to see Sin come bounding in through the back door, Doomfang cradled in her arms and covered in dirt and twigs. The little devil herself was purring contentedly, squashed face nuzzled into Sin’s arm and tail flicking agreeably.

“Oh my God, sis.” You muttered, taking in her bedraggled appearance. Despite the dirt, her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks flushed pink from the assumedly harrowing chase, giving her a childlike look that was frankly just cute.

“I wanna meet the bunny!” She said, ignoring you and letting Doomfang hop out of her arms so she could grab Green’s arm. “Show me! Show me!”

“Well, while you do that, I’m gonna get a drink of water… And something to wipe off all that dirt on your face.” You plucked a twig out of her hair, sighing exasperatedly at her unapologetic grin before striding towards the kitchen with purpose. “If Blue comes back before I do, tell him I’ll be right back.”

The kitchen was empty of anyone other than you at that moment (thankfully) so you made quick work of wetting a paper towel and finding a glass to just pour some tap water into, not wanting to leave your sister alone with the others for too long…

But then you heard it.

A deep, menacing growl.

You turned slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements. As you did, you came face to face with an extremely large dog (at least as big as a Great Dane) with fluffy fur as white as snow and eyes red as blood. It was displaying intensely aggressive behavior; tucked tail, ears flat against its head, teeth bared, and hair on the neck bristling with a deep growl rumbling in its throat.

_You are filled with Conviction._

“Hiya Pupper.” You cooed softly, being careful not to maintain direct contact. You watched as its eyes narrowed before you wiggled your fingers enticingly in order to beckon. “I’m not dangerous… Come here so I can pet you~.”

The creature seemed to hesitate at your sweet sounding call before approaching slowly, eyes staying connected with your own as it made sure you weren’t planning anything spiteful. You stood still as stone as it got close enough to sniff at your outstretched fingers, and after a tense second or two, the large fluffy tail started wagging incredibly fast.

Your eyes lit up in delight as the aggressive stance was dropped. “There there… No need to tear Virtue to shreds, yeah? I’m not dangerous.” You giggled as the once growling beast did a complete 180 in its behavior, turning into a big ol’ softie. The tongue lolled out as it began to pant, the ears perking up as the moist nose began to bump insistently against your head.

Awww, the sweetheart was practically starved of affection… And if you were right about who owned which pet so far, you were beginning to understand why.

“So, Pupper, what’s your name?” You cooed as you scratched behind an ear, despite knowing you weren’t going to get an answer, and quickly downed your cup of water before setting it aside. “You ain’t got a collar… Oh well, this is easy to figure out, just need to ask your owners.” With a firm nod, you began heading back out to the foyer where everyone else was still converged and conversing. You could hear the canine’s heavy footfalls following right behind you, and you couldn’t help but smirk a little to yourself as you headed straight to Sin. “I’ve acquired a towel for your face.”

You began to meticulously rub off the dirt smudged on her face, all the while her bright eyes looking past you in awe.

“Uh… Sis? There’s like a… fucking _gigantic_ dog right behind you.”

“I am aware.”

“Well, uh… You aware that everyone’s staring at you like you got Jesus on your shoulders then?” Blinking, you turned to look over at your roommates, and… Well, she wasn’t lying. Sockets were wide and practically blank as they stared at the dog butting its head against the back of your legs like it was going to bring about the apocalypse. Particularly Red.

“...Why are you all looking like that?”

“...gals, i need ya to not panic and just… back away as slowly as possible.” Red muttered quietly, and began to approach the dog from behind very slowly. “do it before he tries to tear ya apart.”

“Who, the Pupper?” You asked in confusion, handing the dampened cloth to Sin and turning around to face the animal that was practically begging for you to pet him. “Why would he do that? He’s a big sweetheart.”

All skeletons in attendance looked at you like you were insane. “didya chug roofies in that kitchen? aggressive dog is a hellhound!”

“Aggressive Dog, huh?” You mused, tapping your fingers lightly against your arm before cocking your head to the side, making eye contact with the creature. He cocked his head back, and you giggled. “Not a very relevant name to me, but okay. Hey AD, you don’t want to hurt me, do ya?”

“this bitch be crazy…” Pup seemed to murmur to himself, getting smacked lightly in the arm by G as a result.

“kiddo, red ain’t joking…” Sans said in warning, and it was at this moment you realized your monster roommates were all in a very tense stance. “he might hurt ya, so just back away and-- what’s that look for?” You could hear Sin start to giggle quietly behind you as you made eye contact with all dissenters with a defiant light in your eye. “that’s the look of someone… who’s about to make a very _poor_ life decision.”

You leaned forward towards the canine.

“Angel, don’t do it.”

You raised a single hand.

“don’t ya fuckin’ dare--” Red began, but wasn’t even able to finish before you placed your hand right atop the dog’s head.

It seemed like at that moment every breath that didn’t belong to a human stopped short. A few seconds passed in this manner before you rolled your eyes.

“See drama queens? He isn’t going to hurt me.” You looked around the room, your lips twitching up at how their collective expressions were obviously saying something like ‘This ballsy bitch.’ “He just wants attention! Isn’t that right big boy?” You murmured sweetly at AD, smiling as his tail started to wag. You could feel your grin of delight getting impossibly wider as you knelt down, and began rubbing your hands underneath his chin. You lost all interest in the other’s reactions as his leg started thumping against the ground. “Feels good huh? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy~?” You decided to not really care that your tone of voice reverted into one reserved for baby talk at the very moment, because AD just decided to flop on his side and expose his belly, looking like a happy dork as he did. “D’awwww, aren’t you just the sweetest?!”

“........I AM APPALLED.” Papyrus yell-whispered, staring at the two of you in absolute shock as you rubbed down his belly in your excitement. “NO ONE HAS EVER GOT HIM TO ACT SO… NICE BEFORE! NOT EVEN RED OR EDGE AND HE BELONGS TO THEM!”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” You replied bluntly before sputtering as AD suddenly licked your face from chin to hairline. “Ack!! Hey, I don’t know where your tongue’s been, buddy!”

“That’s what she said.” Sin snickered from behind, bending down beside you with her phone in her hand as she tilted it to show you the screen. “Look at this, I snapped this shot of all their faces, it’s friggin’ priceless.” You glanced over, and couldn’t help but give a short barky laugh at the skeletons’ look of horror and bewilderment at AD’s easy acceptance of your touch. The only one in the picture that was missing was Edge.

“Please send me that photo.”

“I gotcha fam.”

“ha, ha, ha, yeah, a real riot.” Red seemed to be the first to recover (if you could call it that) and scowled before beginning to advance again. “won’t be a laughin’ matter if he bites your hand off though, so let me just-”

Apparently, AD was not happy with this development, as he immediately sprang up back onto his feet and with a thunderous growl pointed towards Red, took off to a different room.

…………….

“.....I’m partially glad that Edge wasn’t around to see that, yet at the same time, disappointed,” Green said calmly, just as Edge came downstairs from putting away his things.

“WHAT?” The irritable skeleton growled out. “SEE WHAT? WHY ARE YOU ALL STANDING HERE LOOKING LIKE IDIOTS?”

“n-no reason bro. no reason at all...”


	5. 1 Tukwila, 2 Tukwila, 3 Tukwila, Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach time and drinking games...what else is college for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MK: Hey guys sorry for my radio silence on most of my stories. This one and SSiYC are pretty much the only ones I'm motivated to continue. I'm trying to keep myself from iverworking...I have a tendency to do that lol

* * *

**-Sin-**

* * *

“Are you sure that’s an appropriate swimsuit to wear around skeleton monsters?” Virtue asked, eyeing your skeleton print vintage-style one piece.

“I asked Sans already. He said it wasn’t offensive, just lewd.” You smiled at yourself in the mirror, smoothing the ruffles around the hips and fluffing the bow on the back that threaded through the sacrum of the print. Man, if just the print was lewd, how kinky was sacrum lacing?

“Then you definitely can’t wear it!” She groaned.

“Too bad! The only other suit I have is my birthday suit~♡”

“...Nevermind, I like that one.”

You whooped, victorious. You turned to regard her bikini set, and her matching coverup. “Showing some skin today,  _ Virtue _ ?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, plopping a floppy sun hat onto her head. “What are you,  _ What Not to Wear _ ? I have a coverup.”

“Yeah, I know, you should take it off and show that bangin’ bikini!”

“Says the girl in a one-piece?”

“Hey, I got lewd skele-print on my one-piece, that’s just as good.” You said, wrestling the shawl off her shoulders. “Come on! You got the beachbody, and I know you aren’t shy about it!”

She laughed, letting you slide the fabric off her arms. “Fine, fine! I guess it’s pretty hot today anyway.”

You did a little victory dance to make her laugh again, and then it was out the door to get to the beach.

* * *

“YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY BELIEVE I WANT TO BE SEEN WITH YOU WEARING THAT.”

“what’sa matter, boss? are ya  _ ducking _ embarrassed of me?” Red snickered, pulling the inflatable duckie innertube up higher on his bones to emphasize his pun. Edge responded exactly how he expected.

POP!  _ psssshhhhhhhhhhh…... _

“aw, c’mon, boss, babyblue’s bro lets ‘im wear one.” Red grunted, gathering the deflated mess in his hands as it went.

“HE CAN PULL IT OFF. AND BELIEVE ME, I DID YOU A FAVOR. THE HUMANS ARE COMING.” Edge smirked as his brother’s sockets widened, and watched him struggle to shuck off the popped innertube quickly, unwilling to look that dorky in front of the new object of his affections.

Stretch rolled his eyes at the antics of the edgy brothers. They were seemingly very okay with these humans, which was a shock. He’d suspected they would take more time to relax, but for some reason they had pretty much accepted them right away, just like Blue and Papyrus had. It would be refreshing to see them like this, if it didn't worry him.

Then again, worrying is for chumps. And people without cute brothers to snap photos of.

“PAPYYYYYYY, ARE YOU DONE  _ YET _ ?” Blue groaned, stomping his foot impatiently at Stretch’s distraction. The taller skeleton stifled a laugh, snapping a few more pics with his phone. “COME ON! THE HUMANS ARE COMING DOWN NOW AND I WANT TO BEAT THEM TO THE WATER!”

“ _ snrk... _ just a few more, bro.”  _ click, click, click. _ “alright, now you can go.”

Blue was off to the races immediately, zipping over to where Papyrus stood knee-deep (though for Blue it was more like waist deep) in the water. Stretch scrolled through the pictures with an amused smirk, selecting the exasperated face in the last one for his lock screen. Priceless.

“That is one impatient skelly,” you said, peering over his shoulder. He chuckled and started to turn to address you…

He froze, staring at you with wide sockets. You scrunched up your face in confusion...hadn't he been about to say something? Why did he stop? His eyelights travelled over your swimsuit, and then flicked up to where you knew Virtue must be glaring at him, and you understood.

“What's up, Stretch? Don't you like it?” You teased, doing a little twirl for him to show it off. “I think it's cute. I wasn't lying when I said I love skeletons, you know.”

He smirked as he watched Red hyperventilate a few yards away, Edge rolling his eyelights and scolding him for his rude stare. Red always was the lech, but it really didn't help him that he was so easy to fluster.

Stretch’s own recovery time was impressive, though, and obviously way better than Red’s. “heh, if i said i didn't like it, well, that would be a  _ fibula _ , now wouldn't it, honey?” He said with a chuckle, shoving his phone and hands into his shorts pocket, seeing as he’d forgone his sweater. “ _ tibia- _ nest, i think it  _ suits _ you, feel like i can  _ see right through you _ .”

You did nothing to cover your ugly laugh save for a half-assed hand over your mouth. “Careful, boneboy, you might hurt yourself with the velocity of the puns you’re slinging.”

“i gotta lotta practice, i’ll be fine.” He said with a smirk as he brought a cigarette up to his teeth. You made a face and he noticed. “don't like smokes?”

“My mom had a boyfriend for five years who smoked like a chimney and liked to hug me a lot. Like, way more than was comfortable.” You said honestly, making him blink. He had kind of expected another joke or teasing response...well, now he just felt bad. “I'll just...go over there until you're done with it!”

Your genuine smile caught him even further off-guard. Your tolerance was extremely strong for a human your age, still dominating the overall color of your soul, your aura shining bright seafoam as you excused yourself. You hadn't even tried to talk him out of smoking, but instead had moved away politely to allow him to do his own thing. 

He crushed the cigarette and sighed, running a hand over his skull, guilt eating at him despite your attempt to make him feel like it wasn't a problem. Maybe he would stick to the nice-smelling magic ones from now on.

You picked your way carefully to where the sand was wet from the tides, sighing as the cold sand chilled your burning feet. You glanced back and waved at Virtue, who had opted to stay on the porch where Green had placed some sandwiches and lemonade. Ah, yes, Virtue’s one true mistress, food.

You turned back towards the water to call out to Papyrus and Blue, only to find Red had blocked your view, cheekbones tinted as crimson as his eyelights as he looked you over hungrily.

“hey, kitty-cat, you’re lookin’ damn fine~” he purred, hands sliding into his pockets--probably in an attempt to be polite and keep them off you.

“Thanks, hot stuff. You look...the same, but slightly smaller without the sweatshirt,” you shrugged, eyes travelling over his white t-shirt and his usual shorts. He looked almost exactly like Sans save for the shark-like grin and crimson eyelights. You observed the chips in his bones with interest, wondering how he got so many scars.

“we go inside, i can show you something that's definitely  _ not _ small?” He said, grin widening almost manically as he winked at you.

“Hmmm... _ tempting _ , but I don't want your dust on my sister's hands if we tried to sneak past her,” you joked, checking his shoulder as you swept past him to the water. “You coming?”

He looks like he's about to to follow, but then it becomes very clear that he's caught sight of the bow on the back of your swimsuit.

From his face, it's obvious that sacrum lacing is, indeed, just as kinky as you thought it was.

* * *

**-Virtue-**

* * *

“SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!  _ EVERYBODY _ !”

You stifle a laugh as your sis dances around the living room, dressed now in a pair of shorts and a band t-shirt, as the guys all get settled on the couch. It was just after dinner, and the drinks had, indeed, been broken out pretty quickly. You were lazing across one end of the couch, Sans on the other, with Sin’s spot between you currently vacant as she danced around. AD had situated himself like a cinder block across your feet, dozing lightly despite the noise.

There was a movie playing, but nobody was watching anymore. Instead, there had been some sort of unspoken agreement that everybody sit around the coffee table and play drinking games. After a round of king’s cup, they had taken a short break for water. Looking around, it was easy to tell which ones were seasoned drinkers like yourself, and which ones were lightweights.

Green either hadn't drank in the last round or was good at hiding it, because he was simply reading a book quietly in the corner. His brother, on the other hand, definitely had been drinking, knocking back drink after drink like a professional, barely showing any sign of being drunk. Red and Edge were both a little flushed, but otherwise fine, as was Black. Blue had been drinking like it was the end of the world, shockingly, but he wasn't even fazed. And Papyrus...well, he was a little woozy and slurred, but he was happy and enjoying himself.

That left the poor, drunk suckers that were Stretch, Pup, and Sans. They're either faking it very convincingly, or else they're actually just sloshed.

“hey, hey, hey, pup...d’you ever, like, wonder about zippers?” Stretch slurred knocking down his drink. “they're so weird, like who thought of closing a sweater with teeth?”

“a genius probably,” Pup grunted in return, eyes shamelessly watching Sin’s every move as she danced past.

You watched your soul sister plop down on the couch next to you, with Sans on the other side looking unfocused, furrowing his brow in thought. As her weight came down on his left, he bristled and jumped slightly, grabbing onto the nearest thing to steady himself in an effort to protect his drink. You laughed at his little blue blush as he realized he had grabbed her thigh.

“sorry,” he mumbled, hesitating for a moment before removing his hand. Sin covered her laugh slightly as she threw her arm around his shoulders.

“No worries, I liked it~”

Normally you’d probably give her a warning look, but...well, you were beginning to relax around these guys, and Sin was gonna be Sin, after all. What's the harm in a little flirting?

“LET’S PLAY ANOTHER GAME!” Blue cheered, jumping up to quickly refill his cup.

“Another drinking game?” G asked, topping off his, and then reaching over to refill yours with a wink. If you had any drinking competition here, you can only assume it would be him.

“WELL, YOU CAN DRINK IF YOU WANT TO! I WAS THINKING TRUTH OR DARE!”

“REGULAR TRUTH OR DARE IS SO DULL,” Black groaned. “I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THAT.”

“then let's make it interesting, eh?” Red suggested, winking over at your sis. “if you don't do the truth or the dare someone’s given to ya, you should have to  _ kiss the giver _ .”

You sputtered over your drink. “No, absolutely not--” 

“I'm so in!” Sin agreed bombastically. “That sounds hilarious!”

“HMPH. I SUPPOSE THAT'S ACCEPTABLE TERMS,” Black sniffed, settling back into his chair.

“INDEED. THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.” Edge mused from his spot beside his brother.

You glanced down at the sleepy dog at your feet, and AD just returned your confused, exasperated look. “Well...what’s the harm?” you asked him, patting his head affectionately.

“ME FIRST!” Blue squeaked, quickly pointing to his brother. “PAPY! TRUTH OR DARE!”

“i think it’ll be a dare, bro,” he said, leaning against your arm as it dangled over the side of the couch.

“I DARE YOU TO…” He hesitated for a moment before he snapped his fingers. “DRINK WHATEVER CONCOCTION I GO MAKE IN THE KITCHEN!” You snorted in amusement (that’s a classic dare, you gave lil’ blue props), Sin literally breaking out in laughter.

“while he’s doing that, i guess i’ll keep the game going. red, truth or dare?” Stretch mused.

“pfft. dare, whaddya take me for?” Red growled, knocking back the rest of his cup and reaching for a refill. Stretch’s smirk was a full-blown grin now.

“i dare you...to do the dance.”

“psh, what dan...ce…” Red trailed off, a look of mortification crossing his skull as he swiveled around to look at his brother accusingly. “b-boss! you said you’d never tell anyone!!”

“AH, WELL,  _ snrk,  _ IT MUST'VE JUST SLIPPED OUT.” Edge was trying and failing to cover his smirk and laugh with one gloved hand as his brother appeared to go nuclear, turning several shades of pink and red simultaneously.

“okay, okay...but if i hafta do the dance,  _ you _ gotta sing the song!” Red declared, jabbing a finger into his brother’s chest. Edge crossed his arms and levelled a glare back onto his brother.

“CAN'T MAKE ME.”

“i  _ dare you _ to sing the song.”

“THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. MAYBE I WANT TO PICK TRUTH.”

“that’s how you wanna play? you wanna do truth with me?” Red set his glass down and bunched his hand up in Edge’s scarf, pulling him to eye level defiantly. “tell me, boss, who knows all your dirty secrets? who can ask all the right questions just to embarrass you?  _ who here knows about the breakfast incident? _ ”

What little color Edge had was drained immediately. “YOU’RE BLUFFING.”

“maybe.” Red released his brother, his shark-like grin reaching terrifying levels of shit-eating. “but...are you ready to take that chance?”

Edge narrowed his sockets, and they lapsed into silence as they stared each other down, Edge with a scowl and Red with a grin.

Blue came bounding back in at that moment, a blender full of brown mush that smelled like old beef.

“IT'S FINALLY PERFECT! PREPARE YOUR MOUTH PAP--”

Edge stood up quickly, and Red followed suit with a grin. Blue stopped in his tracks, right next to his brother, who was the only one still paying attention to him. Stretch took the blender surreptitiously as Edge took a deep breath...and began to loudly sing an obnoxious and childish tune...that you immediately recognized from preschool.

Your jaw dropped as Edge sang and Red started to dance the stupidest dance you’d ever seen.

 

“Dem bones, dem bones, dem dancing bones.   
Doin' the skeleton dance.   
The foot bone's connected to the leg bone.   
The leg bone's connected to the knee bone.   
The knee bone's connected to the thigh bone.   
Doin' the skeleton dance.”

 

Edge’s eyes were fixed ahead of him as he sang awkwardly, and Red hopped all around like he was dancing on hot coals, shaking whatever part of the body was referenced in the song. You clapped a hand over your mouth as Sin laughed out loud next to you, toppling over onto a chuckling Sans as he recorded the whole scene on his phone. You glanced down at Stretch to see his reaction, only to have him wink at you, and dump the entire blender of mush into the ficus next to him while everyone is distracted. Smart.

“NOT A FUCKING CHANCE! THIS IS YOUR DARE, NOT MINE!” Edge was growling suddenly, interrupting the song.

“c’mon, bro, you know the end is a two-part thing!” Red was enjoying this way too much, and even more so when his brother sighed and they simultaneously popped their heads off their shoulders, leaving you to gape at them as they drunkenly fumbled to juggle them between each other as they sang more of “The Skeleton Dance”. Sin shrieked with laughter beside you, face practically buried in Sans’ hood as she tugged him in front of her to deflect Red’s head as it flew towards her. It floated away harmlessly, leaving you to relax back in your seat, realizing you had gone into protective mode.

You’d say you probably need some more alcohol but since your tolerance was high, it was a toss-up if you’d actually become intoxicated enough to relax.

“WOW, PAPY, YOU REALLY DRANK ALL OF THAT?” Blue’s eyelights were as big as saucers as he looked at his brother in awe.

“sure did, bro. it was pretty rank, but i have an iron stomach, heh.”

He doesn't have any stomach, you think, as Edge finishes his song and Red and him put their heads back onto their shoulders with a sickening  _ click _ . The shorter brother immediately collapsed into the chair behind him, breathing heavily and leaving you to wonder how one might gauge the fitness level of a walking, talking skeleton. However it was measured, Red sure had a lot less of...it...than his brother did, because he wasn't even fazed as he cracked his neck and continued the game.

“ALRIGHT, MUTT, IT'S YOUR TURN.” Edge scoffed, fixing his sockets on Pup,who was now leaning back on his unamused brother’s legs. “TRUTH OR DARE?”

“truth, just to switch it up.”

Edge’s face falls. “...YOU...YOU ARE SURE YOU DON'T WANT DARE?”

“absotively.” He says firmly.  _ Positutely, _ you finish in your head.

Edge brings one gloved hand to his mandible and frowns, burrowing his browbones in thought. He must have had a good dare, and was hoping to use it, and now he has to think of something juicy to ask for truth.

Red reaches over and tugs on Edge’s shirt, and he turns to regard his older brother as he begins to do some lazy hand movements and browbone waggling. It's lost on you, but fortunately the fearsome skeleton seems to know exactly what he’s saying, as they both grin devilishly at the same time. Pup is grinning lazily from his spot with confidence that nobody should have under such mischievous looks.

“ALRIGHT, YOU MONGREL,” Edge levels, crossing his arms to mirror his brother’s posture. “TELL ME...WHAT ARE THE TWO THINGS YOU HATE MOST ABOUT...YOUR BROTHER?”

Pup’s grin fell immediately into a scowl, and silence permeated the room as everyone hushed themselves. You get the sense that this is not going to end well, what with all the magic crackling through the air. Your shoulders tense, and your hand brushes your soul sister’s thigh as if to make sure she’s still there.

The silence is broken by a short bark of laughter from none other than the brother on trial. Black brings a gloved hand to his face in a half-hearted attempt to cover his chuckle, resulting in a look not unlike a cartoon villain.

“OH PLEASE, WHAT A WASTE OF A TRUTH. I AM FLAWLESS IN EVERY WAY AND, UNLIKE  _ YOUR _ USELESS BROTHER, MY MUTT ADORES ME WHOLEHEARTEDLY TILL HIS DYING BREATH. DO NOT TAKE YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR OWN KIN OUT ON US, PETTY  _ CHILD _ .”

The tension breaks, kind of, but the stiffness remains in Pup’s joints as he laughs coldly. “sorry, edge, can't answer that.”

His voice drips with a warning tone that you're certain you aren't the only one to pick up on. It's steely and sends a chill down your spine, though you retain your composure in the case that you need to remove your sis from an unexpected battle.

“why not?” Red asks, swirling his cup of brandy as he leans forward to address him. “because there really isn't anything? or maybe...because you don't want to hurt his  _ feelings _ ? or...are you afraid of him? your  _ little _ brother?”

Black visibly bristles at the emphasis Red places on the word “little”. Oh good, a munchkin with an Napolean complex and the chill factor of Edward Elric.

There was a tense silence for a beat before Pup laughed and shook his head, downing his drink as he stood up.

“y’know, edge, if you wanted to kiss me that badly, you don't need to make up a question i can't answer.” He purred, sliding one hand around the back of Edge’s neck, who stiffened in confusion under his grip. “...or was that the awesome dare you had clearly had planned for me?”

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back. The tension from those minutes is gone and what seemed like terrifying stillness has returned to the usual chatter and noise, perforated with whoops and hollers and groans as Edge struggled to release himself from Pup’s kissy, drunken death grip. You find yourself laughing in spite of it all. You also find that Stretch is refilling your drink for you. 

Only this one looks like toxic waste. You give him a look.

“tukwila.” He pronounces it like the city in Washington State.

“Tequila?” You correct dubiously.

“heh, no. tukwila. monster alcohol. much stronger. you were looking bored, and unsatisfyingly sober,” he chuckled.

“Trying to get me drunk, eh? Didn’t know you rolled like that.” You quipped with an innocent air, tracing the lip of the glass with a finger as you giggled at his responding choke on his breath.

“oi, don’t lump me in with those two asshats over there.” He jabbed a thumb over at Pup as they cackled over Sans tumbling off the couch because a sudden movement from Sin caused him to lose balance.

“Why, I wouldn’t think of it thou fellow roommate.” You said with a debonair sort of tone, just barely able to hold back from smirking at the stare that literally said ‘I know you’re bullshitting me’ that you gained. However, you pretended to ignore it by studying the unappetizing liquid that now occupied your glass. “Ummm… I won't get, like, mutant superpowers from drinking this, will I?”

“one way to find out, doll.” He clicked his own glass of the stuff against yours before downing his entire glass, finishing off with a belch.

Charming.

Pup finally lands a smack-a-roo on Edge, despite his struggling, and the disgusted howl that escapes the fearsome skeleton makes you laugh again. The Tukwila has a satisfyingly fruity taste (especially compared to the actual sight of the liquid), and almost no kick… Unless you counted that weird tingle on your tongue as a kick. You had absolutely no way of knowing that the next thought would be your last fully coherent one for the night, and so you thought it anyway:

  
‘This doesn't  _ feel _ much stronger than tequila.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's gonna happen now, I wonder?


	6. A Cure For Boneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody's down for the count except for you and Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MK: Only Sin's perspective this time! It was long enough to be its own chapter, so Virtue's side will be next chapter when we find the time. Thanks for sticking with this story even though we're really bad at updating haha

“M’not tired! M’just getting started!” Virtue moaned, struggling weakly against your grasp as you attempted to wrestle her up from the couch. “Come on, I ain’t out yet! Lez go ‘nother round, boys!”

“Oops, no you don’t!” You scolded, confiscating her neon beverage and setting it out of her reach.

She was more than a little drunk, clearly, but she wasn't the only one. The living room looked like a war scene, casualties everywhere. G had outdrank Virtue by just a hair, and had already been abandoned by his brother (who had retired early in the evening to read) hours ago to moan against the arm of the couch, a drink still clasped in his hand as it dangled over the edge. Edge was stumbling out of the room with an absolutely trashed Red hanging over his shoulders, passed out and snoring. Stretch had  _ stretched _ out across the covered piano, Pup lazily wrapped around him like a koala, texting with his eyes closed--perfect photo op, honestly.

Papyrus, Black, and Blue were gone, having gotten bored of truth or dare a while ago and deciding to take a drunken stumble along the beach. 

This left only Sans, who was pressed to your side in a fit of laughter as Virtue finagled her way out of your grip once more.

“just leave ‘er, she can be a  _ couch potato _ if she wants,” he chuckled, the laughter vibrating against your shoulder. Virtue had snapped asleep anyway, legs tangling with G’s as he began to snore on the other end of the couch.

“Fine, fine!” You assented, dropping her hand with a giggle and stumbling off into the kitchen to get her some water. Sans didn't budge, but his eyelights followed your movement as you went, watching as you scribbled a note on a piece of scratch paper for her when she wakes up. When you straightened up, he was leaning on you comfortably again, ribs pressing against your back and head lolling lazily onto your shoulder.

“Too bad everyone’s down for the count,” you mused.

“hey, not everyone. we’re still standin’, ain’t we?” He chuckled, hands brushing at the hem of your t-shirt. “hey, uh, you still wearin’ that swimsuit under there?”

“Why, you getting ideas, there, roomie?” You asked, flashing him a smile over your shoulder. He blushed a light blue, stepping back a bit with a nervous cough.

“ah, uh, no, no. i was just thinkin’, there's a hot tub on the porch upstairs...the porch attached to my room, an’if you want we could go. there. to the hot tub, i mean, not my room. well, we gotta go  _ through _ my room, but, uh, we don't gotta stay there.” He paused, and then laughed, trying again. “what i mean is, wanna go hot tubbin’?”

“Uhhh duh?” You giggled, turning and grabbing his wrist to pull him towards the stairs. “What are we even waiting for?”

* * *

“I will never get tired of this,” you sighed, mostly to yourself as you leaned on the railing, staring out at the dark waters rolling in gently. The moon bathed everything in an ethereal glow, making it easy to make out the outlines of your three adventurous roommates as they walked along the stark white sand.

“s’quite a view, that’s for sure,” Sans added, handing you your drink as he leaned against the railing next to you. “this beach house was one o’the first things we bought all together up here, and what really sold me was the view of the sunset from the balcony.”

“You’re supposed to spill your thoughts  _ after  _ I ask you the truth question,” you teased, making him chuckle as he sipped his drink.

“hey, now, you best be careful. don’t think i didn’t notice you didn’t get picked at all for truth or dare. if we’re still playin’, you’re in trouble, little lady.”

You hummed and shrugged, sipping some of your own drink. You pushed off the railing and removed your shirt in one fell swoop, shimmying your shorts off at the same time until you were left in your swimsuit. “Fine then. Lay it on me, bone boy.”

You set your drink down on the table, out of reach of the hot tub. You had really been nursing your drinks, but you were feeling kinda tipsy and wanted to keep a clear mind. Sans seemed to have the same idea, and as you stepped into the hot tub he set his down next to yours.

He turned, paused, shrugged and then pulled his own shirt off to join yours on the deck, slipping into the water beside you.

The sudden appearance of his ribs had your full attention immediately, but you remembered Virtue scolding you when you stared at G the first day so you tried to avert your eyes.

There was just one thing…

“Truth or dare?” You asked suddenly, stirring him from his peaceful enjoyment of the warm water. He caught your stare and grinned.

“i sense you want me to pick truth, so i will.” 

“What is...that? The glowy thing.” You asked, gesturing to the blue light shining softly from between his ribs. He seemed surprised and also a little embarrassed, and his hand flew up to cover some of it.

“oh, uh...s’just my soul. all creatures have ‘em, but since i’m literally bones you can see mine.”

Come to think of it, you thought you had seen some sort of golden light when you had seen G shirtless, but you had written it off initially as a trick of the light.

You waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, and you snorted. “That’s it? Just ‘oh yeah that's my soul, NBD bro’?”

“hey, you asked  _ what _ it is, not  _ why _ or  _ how _ .”

You stuck your tongue out at him, and he…

...reciprocated?! Holy shit, that was a tongue, a glowing blue tongue! Your shocked face started a new bout of laughter before it was your turn.

“Mmmm...truth.”

“lame.”

“Only if you ask lame questions.”

He hummed, and you wondered if his tongue was still behind his teeth or if it disappears.

“alright. ever kissed a monster?”

A monster? You haven’t even kissed a human, unless you count cornering Markus Flannerty on the playground in 4th grade. Kissing usually required somebody to find you attractive, and although you were certainly looking like hell on wheels most of the time, that hadn't really happened yet.

It was a shame, but hey. It'll happen someday.

“Hmm...not  _ yet _ .” You winked at him, relishing the way his face lit up to match the glow of his soul. “Your turn.”

“truth. no lame questions, now.”

“Have you ever kissed a human?” You countered.

He chuckled, his hand floating over to brush your leg lightly. “not yet.”

“Cheater.”

“hey, s’true. your turn.”

Things went on this way for a while, the moon rising higher in the sky. He dared you to climb over the balcony onto Edge’s balcony and knock on his window, which prompted drunk shouting between Edge and Red as they blamed each other for the knocking noise. Upon finding out through truths that he can teleport, you dared him to teleport to a nearby store to scare the clerk. The resulting picture of the poor dude’s face made you laugh for a solid ten minutes, doubled over in the water.

Truths were pretty tame as you both nursed your drinks off and on. That is, until…

“ _ would _ you smooch a monster?” He asked.

How long had his arm been slung over your shoulder? How long had your hand been on his knee?

“Of course,” you said confidently, without skipping a beat. You caught his surprised look and shrugged. “What?”

“you were just so confident about it. monsters really don’t squidge you out at all?”

"Nope."

"hmm. humans not doin' it for ya, huh?" He teased, humor in his voice. You giggled but...

“Well…” You pursed your lips and dropped your head onto his shoulder thoughtfully. “See, the way I see it is this. Imagine the human dating pool is like...100 people. Well, half of them are women, and only like 5 of those are interested in other women. And a good portion of those guys are only interested in men. From what’s left, weed out the ones who already have significant others, or that I already hate with a passion, you get like...10. Maybe 12 people left? And half of those will have some reason or other preventing them from dating, and half of what's left of  _that_ aren't looking for a relationship.”

You adjusted and stretched, settling more comfortably against his shoulder. 

“and the other 3?”

“Hmmm, good listening skills. Well, of those 3, there's probably only 1 who will actually possibly like me or at least my style. Punk rock girls that are super into Halloween and macabre stuff aren't usually on the top of anyone’s list.” He hummed in understanding, but you weren't finished. “And when I finally go ahead and get the nerve to ask this guy, what does he say?”

Okay, so these stats may or may not be based on your inability to get a prom date. But so what? It was honest.

“...what does he say?” Sans asked, curiosity lacing his words.

You look up at him thoughtfully, and for a long moment you wonder if it would be offensive to repeat it. Hell, it had offended you at the time...ah, what the heck.

“He told me to go fuck a skeleton.”

Sans’ sockets widened in surprise, and he was stunned silent for a long moment…

...before withdrawing his arm from around your shoulder to clutch at his ribs as he laughed hysterically.

“ha, h-holy  _ shit _ , i was  _ not _ expectin’ that!” He wheeze through the laughter as you started to laugh along.

“Yeah, neither was I.” You were laughing almost as hard as he was at the thought. “Just...just imagine, though, how none of us ever expected monsters to come from under the mountains, yeah? I never expected it to be an actual  _ option _ !”

You paused at your own words.  _ Was _ it an option? The wording made him stumble a little bit, so you pressed the question.

“Wait, so, like... _ is it _ an option, though?” You asked, and he looked at you, confused. “I mean, as far as I can see, you guys lack the uh...equipment…”

“pfft. we have dicks, if that’s whatcher askin’.”

He seemed highly amused by your blush. That had indeed been what you were wondering about.

“But, like...how?”

“that ain’t how the game goes,” he joked. “i gotta pick truth or dare first. maybe i’ll pick dare and you’ll never know.”

You rolled your eyes. “Alright, truth or dare?”

“truth.”

“How?” You abruptly asked, making him laugh again.

“mmm...magic.” He said lamely, waggling his fingers. You groaned. “starts in the soul.”

“You know what I mean,” you said, shoving him playfully. You dragged yourself from the warm water and moved across to where the steps were, sitting at the top and leaning back so he could see your swimsuit. “Look, you can show me how it works on me so you don't have to get naked!”

“...you really wanna have the monster birds and the bees conversation right now?” He asked, eyelights flicking over your form and back to fix on your eyes.

“Yes.” You declared, wiggling your hips playfully.

He stared at you a long moment, before chuckling and running a wet hand over his skull, leaving water to drip down in the moonlight as he got up from his seat.

“alright, kid, you asked for it.”

He splashed you playfully on his way over, and when you opened your eyes again he was leaning over you, one arm supporting his weight on the metal banister next to the steps of the jacuzzi.

Your breath hitched as he drew his index finger lightly over your suit, stopping to press it firmly against your sternum.

“...starts here, in the soul. it supplies magic to our entire body. ribs an'spine get it first, so they’re  _ extra sensitive _ …” He brushed his hand back down, tracing the painted ribs lightly...before bringing his hand up to snag your nose in a playful pinch. “which is why i’ll never forgive ya for  _ molesting _ my brother the first day.”

“S-sorry,” you stammered, blushing as you realized your mistake. Damn, Virtue was right...you really did need manners classes.

“just don’t do it again, or you’ll have a  _ bad time _ , capiche?”

“Capiche~”

He chuckled and his hand returned to trace the bones on your suit, pressing gently as if trying to feel the actual ribs beneath it.

“magic travels from the soul to the tips of my fingers, and some monsters, just the magic coating the bones’ll do the trick, seein’ as they don't have the ‘equipment’, as you put it.” His hand is really wandering now, but you suspect it isn't purposeful. He drops to kneel on the step just below where you're sitting, bringing him to just about eye level with you.

“If they do have the equipment, then…?”

“then i make some to match. if they have male parts, i can make female parts, though it takes a bit more concentration. can make anything with concentration.”

His hands were smoothing over your suit slowly, coming to rest where your thighs creased as you sat, holding your hips and squeezing gently, as if exploring the give of your generous curves.

“Is that how you made that tongue?”

He chuckled deeply, his left socket glowing cyan and teeth parting slightly to reveal the mentioned appendage. “what, this thing?”

You found yourself staring. “Uh...yeah. Is that...necessary? Like, for eating and talking? Or is it just for…?”

Is the hot tub on fire or is it just you? 

“hmmm...depends. do you want it to be for that?”

He pushed up to kneel properly in front of you, just a smidge taller than you as he leaned forward, mouth just inches from your face.

“wanna experience a first tonight? for both of us?” He muttered. “you could kiss a monster, n’i could kiss a human. for science.”

You found yourself giggling nervously as you nodded, and then he was kissing you. You gasped a little against his teeth, the feeling of lips present despite his bony face. It tingled more than you remembered Markus Flannerty’s kiss feeling, but whether it was just him or the magic or both you couldn't tell. 

You should have felt awkward, but you didn't. You didn't know what to do with your hands but it didn't matter, because he knew what to do with his, sliding them until one hand was pulling you against him gently by the small of your back, and your lips parted naturally to allow his tongue to dance across them, pressing against yours with a slightly more intense tingle than his lips.

When you finally parted, his cheekbones were a deep navy, and you were certain you were blushing to match. The blue light in his socket disappeared as he clicked his mouth shut, hiding the light of his tongue as well.

“Wow.” You said smartly as his hands settled to rest on your thighs once more.

He hoped he wasn't doing anything dorky like stars in his eyes or something, but he wouldn't blame himself if he did either. You were just so soft, teasing with that skeleton print on you and that ‘come hither’ look you’d had in your eyes all evening. Flirting, joking, playing, thinking he wouldn't notice the way you were brushing against him, touching his femur, laying your head on his shoulder.

_ *is she even trying to be subtle? _

_ *even now, her posture just screams ‘touch me’. _

Even so, the kiss had been a gamble, one that he had definitely won. If he knew humans were this nice to kiss, he might’ve taken a page out of Red’s dating book a long time ago.

He exhaled sharply in agreeance. “yeah...but, uh, that’s how it works.”

“So...you said you can make female parts if you concentrate...but what if, your partner...I mean, what if _they_ have female parts?” You asked, the tiniest hint of anticipation on your breath.

“well, that comes easy, especially when they’re cute, squishy humans.” He teased, his blue flush growing across his skull. 

You looked an absolute treat, he couldn't help but think, hair cascading around your shoulders, painted bones shining in the moonlight on your suit, surrounded by steam from the hot tub as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. 

_ *like something from those smut novels stretch and pup are always reading _

_ *or those animes al and undyne always try to make me watch _

_ *think i understand the appeal of those things now _

_ *normally i’d blame beer goggles, but even without the drinks i can’t see why she seems to think she’s so hard to date _

_ *whoever that guy was is probably shitting himself looking at her facebook pictures now _

“if your offer still applies, i could...uh...show you on you?” He found himself saying it before he could stop, and immediately regretted it until--

_ *oh fuck _

You leaned in to press another kiss to his teeth, as if testing, and he returned it with a groan. When you pulled back, you had a mischievous look on your face.

“Show me what you’re working with, skeleton man~❤”

* * *

The sun was a glorious, amazing, wonderful thing. A thing that Sans had gone through hell to see. An amazing, wonderful, thing he would never trade for any of the days underground.

But right now, the sun was being a dick.

He groaned as the sunlight shined in his face, coaxing him from the sweet respite of sleep. He had slept well...actually, he had slept really well. Better than he had in a long time. He tried to shift and roll over, but he suddenly became very aware of something weighing down his arm.

You.

His eyes snapped open as memories of the night before flooded back to him, his drunken haze not extensive enough to block any of the dirty details.

Oh, stars, you were still naked, your face pressed against his collarbone as you mumbled softly in protest to his movements, fingers curling sleepily around his bottom ribs and  _ oh no that felt good _ .

* _ okay. okay. think. this is fine. things happen. people sleep together all the time, especially when drunk. _

_ *she seems chill enough most of the time. probably not even a thing for her. _

_ *yeah. but...we hardly know each other. and now we gotta live together. _

_ *how do i politely tell her this was a one time thing? _

_ *not a mistake, nah, but...not a relationship either. not something to be repeated...well, i can’t say i wouldn't be okay with it, more like...i’m not pursuing her romantically. _

“Ugh...don’t suppose you have a dimmer switch on that thing?” You groaned, trying (and failing) to block the light of his soul with one hand as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“heh. no such luck, unless the rest’a me stops working, too.”

You made a disgruntled noise, reaching back and plucking a pillow from behind you. You plopped it right on his ribcage and smushed your face back into it comfortably.

_ *see? nonchalant. this is fine. _

_ *...unless she just isn't quite awake enough to realize what’s happening. _

_ *if she is okay with all of it, where does that put...this? _

_ *if she wants to tangle...maybe we could work something out. something casual. _

_ *....but then there’s virtue. _

_ *... _

_ *... _

_ *i’m a dead man. _

Trying to push the sense of impending doom away, he jostled you slightly to try and wake you.

“hey, kid…”

“Mmm...noooo…” You groaned weakly, squeezing him closer and trying to hide all of your face. “Five more minutes…”

You shifted, and he found himself blushing and hurrying to pull the sheet up over your exposed body.

“c’mon...you gotta wake up.”

“Don’wanna.”

“...so you’re...okay? with everything?”

You let out a muffled sigh and then rolled over onto your back, prompting him to rushedly cover you again.

“Everything up until the part where you won't let me sleep,” you said, smiling over at him with a smile that could either be very mischievous or very reassuring...he wasn't sure which option he needed right now. “...up until then, it was all pretty nice.”

He chuckled in spite of himself, propping his elbow on the pillows and his head on his hand.

“sorry, just had to say something. i couldn't  _ bare _ to  _ let it hang _ a second longer.”

You laughed as you swung into a sitting position, letting the sheet pool around your hips as you swung your legs over the side of the bed. He should probably look away...but you had some really nice curves, and he might not get another chance. He felt like kind of a perv, thinking about how he had used those hips as leverage last night, how he’d tangled his phalanges in your curls, explored the softness of your skin…

Maybe he’d have to take a page from Red’s book after all...humans just do everything better, more emotional, more exciting. He'd always looked at the human girls he met, but never acted. He’d never been presented with such a natural choice as last night. The buildup of the night, the chemistry, that slight bit of liquid courage telling him to fuck the consequences...and you.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer~” You giggled, shooting him a raised eyebrow over your shoulder as you bent to swipe your shirt off the floor.

“hmm...tempting.”

He should say something. 

But you’re pulling your shirt on so slowly, he can see the way your spine arches, and your shoulderblades moving. He should really say something, but you’re pulling your shorts up over your thighs, jumping a little to get the waistband past your butt.

He has to say something.

“hey, wait.” He said, pulling his shorts on hurriedly and teleporting quickly to cut you off as you reached for the handle. You were a little surprised, but not unhappy. “uh...just checking. that you're okay. with this...thing that happened. and…”

_ *for the love of...just tell her it's a one time thing. _

_ *come on. let her down easy. make sure she knows that before she leaves. _

“Relax, Sans, things happen,” you answered, patting his still-bare shoulder reassuringly. “It's fine, we're fine. One night stands happen all the time.”

He visibly relaxed with a sigh. “whew. heh. and, uh, that's not to say i...didn't enjoy it, by the way.”

“Oh, good, because I had a blast,” you mused, smiling up at him as you reached up to pull your hair back into a messy bun. “I mean, that thing you did with the levitation? W o w.”

“hey, hey, you had some tricks yourself. what do you call that thing you did with your tongue on my neck? i might have to look that up.”

“For science?”

“of course.” He was fully grinning now. “what was it that guy said? ‘go fuck a skeleton’? well, joke’s on him ‘cause you actually took the option. what's the verdict? am i a decent cure for  _ boneliness?” _

“Well, I will admit it isn't exactly how I imagined my first time, but I certainly don't regret it. In fact, I will probably use memories from last night for my own personal ‘science' from now on.” You teased, leaning up to cup his face, planting a kiss on the opposite cheek before sashaying around him to gather your swimsuit from his lampshade. “Ta-Ta,  _ boneboy. _ ”

You waved, and then disappeared out his door.

He chuckled to himself. Damn. Goodbye tension, this was just what he’d needed, and you were so unbelievably sweet and nonchalant about it. He turned back to the bed, floating his suitcase over to finish getting dressed.

He was already dressed when a concerning thought crossed his mind.

_ *she meant...first time with a  _ **_monster_ ** _ , right? _

_ *...there's no way she was a virgin, not the way she was using her tongue last night. not the way she rolled her hips against me. _

_ *yeah...i’m worrying for nothing. _

_ *...right? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MK: We did the thing. We fucked the skellie. Sin loses her virginity to Sans and oh boy, Virtue is gonna lose her shit.  
> I just...oh boy. I don't think this is gonna be nearly as simple as either of them think it will be lol

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Another College AU Story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11242005) by [Kamari333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamari333/pseuds/Kamari333)




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